The Arrangement: It Led Me To Love

Chapter 40 - Ellison's POV

"What do you mean?" I ask, my voice sounding hoarse.

"Let's have a drink first. I'll need it to get through this." He mumbles.

When he has brought enough liquor out my alcohol store to make a village drunk, he settles down beside me with a troubled sigh.

"It's time for you to know the truth Ellison. I just hope that you won't hate me after this." My father tells me with worry highlighting his eyes.

I am now really anxious about what I may find out, as my father has always brushed over the subject of my Mum. The only thing I know about her is that she left when I was four, and my father could never find where she went, even though he has hired numerous personal detectives. I have always wondered how she could have left me, without a second thought or goodbye. Was I not enough to make her decide to stay? Troublesome thoughts such as these plagued my mind when I was younger, as I felt as though I were stuck on a looped fair ground ride, each turn getting more dizzying and sharp then the last. As a child I was always close to my mum, so when she was suddenly ripped away from me I receded into myself, and did not share my emotions with others. It is why I find expressing my feelings and committing myself to someone so hard now as an adult.

"Your mother loved you very much. You know that right Ellison?" My father asks me with a desperate look in his eye. "It's just that she felt... trapped. Living with me. I was very possessive over her, and she did not like that. She was a beautiful young woman, and I would get very jealous if anyone looked at her the wrong way. I was insecure you see, as she could have anyone she wanted, and yet she had chosen me. I wanted her all to myself, but unfortunately that is what pushed her away. I also did not give her enough attention. I worked all day every day, and often worked nights as well. I was gone before she woke up and back when she was asleep. She felt ignored and unloved. If I could go back and change my actions I would. I was foolish enough to think I could buy her love, showering her in money and gifts, but at the end of the day... She only wanted my attention." My father lets out a muffled sob and a few tears stream down his face as evidence of his sorrows.

"One night I got back and she asked me if I was cheating on her, as she saw missed calls on my phone from a woman named Marcy, asking to meet up that night, but I would not let her read any other messages and snapped at her. Of course I wasn't, but Luc wasn't convinced, as she let doubt seed in her mind, and I guess thought I was not working but with this other woman. Marcy was actually my pilot, and I was arranging with her to take Luciana on a surprise trip for our sixth anniversary to Bora Bora. A week later I arrived home to an empty house and a note on a pillow, telling me that she could not do it anymore and had left, taking you with her."

"So she did not want to leave me behind?" I ask timidly.

"No." He starts as more tears trickle out of his eyes. "But I wanted you. She left you with her parents while she went to New Zealand to see her brother, I do not know why. He is a lawyer, so I guess it was to see if he could help her. I employed a personal investigator to find you both. When I found you, I sent you to Greece to live with your Auntie Charisa whilst I went to get your mum back. When I found her I went and apologised, and asked her to come home, but she... she would not have it. She said that she never wanted to see me again, and she married too young. She wanted to be free. We ended up shouting at each other, and she told me that she couldn't live that life with me anymore. I told her I had you, and she begged me to give you to her, but I would not budge. I thought that she would break and come home, but she obviously did not. She went on the run again, and it took three weeks for my investigators to find her. By this point you had been living with Auntie Charisa for about a month and a half."

"I remember that. I thought you and mum had abandoned me." I tell him, feeling the sadness and confusion hit me like it did when I was younger.

"I'm so sorry son. I did not think how it would affect you. I thought that I could find your mum and bring her home, so we could be a family again.  But when I found her, she told me to leave her alone if I loved her. I thought that if I did as she said then she would come back to me, as I was being understanding. But after two weeks of waiting, I realised she was not coming back. I pulled myself out of my sorrow about a month later, and came back for you. I tried to be a good father, but I was not used to it... Luc always looked after you primarily as I worked. I expected her to be happy and content with her life, but I now know that she just wanted love. About a year later she came back, and begged me to give her custody of you. I could not though. You were all I had left to live for, let alone being my only heir! I refused, and she disappeared after signing the divorce papers. I haven't seen her for nearly twenty years, and I have never been with anyone else. I still love her, throughout all the pain she caused me."