The Arrangement: It Led Me To Love

Chapter 11 - Ellison's POV

^^ Laurene's outfit ❤️ hope you enjoy babes!!

It has been a long week of switching between my business and Laurene's, and to be quite honest I do not think that Laurene needs my help. If only her father would listen to her and see just how capable she is at her role, then maybe he would put off the engagement. I have witnessed the fear in her eyes when her father appears, the life and twinkle of happiness instantly dies, and is smothered over with fear and anxiousness. I do not think he physically hurts her; he just does not show her love or give her praise. He treats her as though she is a burden, and no one should be made to feel that way. I feel sorry for her. She does not deserve this kind of treatment. When her father bothers to acknowledge her, it is usually to reprimand or accuse – I have never seen him smile or show the least bit of love towards her. I genuinely feel sorry for her. I wonder if she has a mother. I hope that she is loving and kind, and makes up for what her father puts her through.

It has been twenty years since I last saw my mother. I can only remember what she looks like from photographs. She told me she loved me, but she left. She promised to look after me, but she left. She said I was her special one, but she left. She tucked me into bed a night, and transported me into the delightful world of made up stories, but she left. I thought she would always be there. I was wrong. When she suddenly left, it messed us all up. I was not able to sleep at night, and my father ignored me and took to the bottle to solve his problems. I was shipped off to Greece to live with my Auntie and cousins. My father would not look me in the eyes, as I share my mother's grey-green irises, and apparently, it caused him pain. I wish I knew why she left so suddenly. Was I a bad son? Did she not love me? Was it my fault? I have always had this yearning and longing to find out why she left, but whenever I ask my father, he growls at me to leave it alone. As I never found out any answers, the wound turned into a scar that has left me scared of love and letting anyone in.

It is one of the reasons why I am so against this marriage – and marriage in general to be honest. I am afraid of commitment. What if Laurene (or whoever decides to steal my heart) leaves me like my mother did? I saw the changes in my father. He went from happy, carefree to sunken, low, and depressed. He has never loved again. I do not need to be subjected to more damage then I already have been by a woman. I do not need any one to 'complete me'.

However, I am willing to give friendship a go. We need to get to know each other, just in case this marriage does go through. I guess that is why I am sitting here pondering on whether to ask her out for dinner tonight. I have a weird, fluttering feeling in my stomach when I think about it though – to be honest it is quite worrying. It is almost as if I am... nervous. That is impossible though, I never get nervous! Especially for a girl! It is not as if I am attracted to her or any thing! Shaking my head to get the ridiculous thoughts out I select her number, where my finger has been hovering over for the past fifteen minutes. After three buzzes, she picks up.

"Hello? Ellison?" Her sweet voice sang out, making me relax instantly.

"Hey sweetheart, what are you doing?" Might as well get straight to the point. I did not mean to call her sweetheart; it just slipped off my tongue like honey.

"First why did you make your name as daddy on my phone? What the heck! And erm just relaxing... why?" She asks unsurely.

"You know you love it," I laugh, "Be ready outside your house in an hour and a half, I am taking you to dinner." I may sound confident, but inside I am a mess of nerves and fear of rejection.

"What if I have already eaten?" The humour in her voice is obvious.

"Then prepare to get fat cuz I am not taking no for an answer!" Before she can reply, I end the call. Wow, I feel so relieved. Talking to her is hard and tranquil at the same time.