WATTYS LONG LIST. He's got three polyamorous, pole dancing moms and his world is the stuff of which teen boy fantasies are made. But when he falls for a feisty cancer patient who is about to die, he truly learns how to live.
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Swear to God, there were two waiters looking like penguins rolling in this little cart that had a steel vault looking thing on top. It was like Let's Make a Deal or something. I was waiting for somebody to ask me if I wanted the little vault or the big box.
The girls sat up and started sniggling and giving each other little looks. I missed seeing what they took out of the vault because I was trying to read their faces.
But then I looked down at the tray that'd been set in front of me. And froze. Everybody else kind of froze, too. The cops got all bug-eyed.
And then after I'd sat there gawking for a minute, Aisha goes, "You s'posed to eat it, bae."
And I looked up and said, "But it's...gold?"
That gave the girls and Rick a good laugh. And then Rick gave a "thumbs up" to the guys in the tuxes and they smiled and bowed and left with the cart and vault while I just sat there staring at this little dish.
It looked like it was made out of a giant diamond or something. And there was this big gold ball in it. Gold. All smooth and shiny like somebody had polished it.
"It's ice cream, dude," Rick told me.
And the Western Guy said, "Gold ice cream?"
"Edible gold," Mike said, handing me the gold spoon the waiter guy had also set in front of me, once he'd set down the golden ice cream ball.
"We call it Helado Dorado," Rick said.
Which translated to exactly what it was: "gold ice cream." It just sounded cooler in Spanish.
"There's a chocolate coating under the gold," Cat told me. "And then the ice cream has little bits of gold in it, too."
Aisha took the spoon and jammed it into the top of the ball. And some of the gold flaked off so I could see the chocolate under there.
Cat picked a flake of gold off the tray and said, "So, my dear, we now have the most sumptuous and expensive buffet in Arizona. Possibly the country."
And then she licked the flake off her finger with the tip of her tongue and gave the cops one of her real sexy "man eater" stares. Damn, that woman...
"Maybe we should...come back later," Grey Suit said. "Let you guys celebrate, huh?"
"But I wanted to know—so, they arrested his folks?" I asked.
"Marc'll fill you in, kiddo," Rick said. "Let 'em go now, okay?"
I could tell he was really suspicious about these cops. And I was fading a little bit.
So I just told them, "Could you tell Danny I'm not mad at him or anything? And I'm okay, too, you should tell 'im. He's a worrier, that kid. Obviously."
