THORKI Fan Fictions

Title: How Long?

How long?
How long until it stops hurting?
How long until you're satisfied?
How long, Loki?

Being King was nothing like he had expected. Well, that wasn't true, it was, but it was not as satisfying as he thought it would be. He always knew deep down on some level that the crown was never what he had truly wanted; in a misfit of rage he had even told Thor the crown was never what he seeked but to be his equal. Now, these words he had said years ago were sadly true. Not that he had doubted it, but Loki figured that perhaps, just perhaps, whenever he'd have the throne he would feel... whole.

After all, he had always believed he deserved to be King, ought to be King! He was the smartest one. He was the one who studied Asgard from one book to the other, the one who spent days working and learning how to become a King, when Thor preferred to have fun with battles, wine, women.

And yet, Loki always had a fond eye for the brute. Because how could he not? He was his brother.

Until he wasn't, of course. Until Loki was known to be the monster everyone hated. Never had Loki felt so desperate. Destroyed. He was the god of mischief, the god of lies yet his whole being was a lie. He had become so good with illusions that he had shielded himself from who he truly was: a Jotun.

A Jotun, whom now governed the throne. Of course no one knew, everyone believed him to be Odin on purpose. But when the time woukd be right, he would come back. And he would be King. Him, Loki, son of Laufey.

When he thought of this plan he had been so very excited for it all, but as the days went by... He found himself bored. Now, of course, perhaps if he took more time protecting other realms...

But he didn't. He felt too... depressed, for it. Like nothing really mattered in the end. Protecting, fighting; enemies of the throne would always come back and it felt like no matter what he did, it wouldn't change a thing.

So why bother?

With time he even didn't feel like changing anymore. He was in his, or well, Odin's bathrobes most of the time. He spent his days doing absolutely nothing. Eating, sleeping, watching plays, doing small talk, and sleeping again.

And the worst part was; all of this was tiresome. Some days he didn't even bother getting out of the chambers, not wanting to parade as his father anymore. But he couldn't exactly go and fetch him from Earth; he would probably be imprisoned and with reason, if anyone figured out what he had done.

And he refused to be imprisoned. So here he was, doing what he always dreamed of, and being depressed.

It was absolutely beyond pathetic. One night, he even destroyed Thor's bedroom in anger. Why? He knew not.

That was a lie.

He knew why, he just didn't want to admit it to himself.

Didn't wamt to admit how, the crown? Without Thor? It was not even worth it. Not even for a second. He exchanged it any day if it meant having his brother back.

Even if he wasn't even his brother.

So how long did it take for Loki to be satisfied? How long did it take for the pain to stop?

However long it took for Thor to come back.