Nothing Left to Give *completed*

Nothing Left to Give - Chapter 18

Zack’s POV

Autumn is tired. The more time she spends trying to train the pack members, the more tired she gets. It’s hard for me, to see her so worn out, but really I am thankful for it. I attribute her new attitude to the fatigue. She is still a firecracker, and still thawing out after years of being alone, but she has stopped punching me, at least. We’ve been living together for the past few months, actually, and we’re becoming more and more your average mated couple. I’m not sure if she’s forgiven me yet, but I definitely have her trust back, and as much as she may deny it, I’m slowly gaining her love too.

I regret what I did to her so much, but if I could go back, I don’t think I would do anything different. Maybe I wouldn’t have left to chase after my sister’s murder (who has yet to be found), and I would have claimed her sooner. But when she was 16? It still strikes me as wrong, with the six year gap. I would have felt like I was taking advantage of her the whole time. If I could change anything though, I would only find a way to make it hurt less for her.

She’s standing in the doorway to my room silently, thinking that I’ve yet to notice her. I can sense how unsure she is through the bond. She typically tunes it out, keeps me out of her head, but I always want to know how she feels. She’s nervous, slightly afraid, even though she would kill me if I told her so. I know that she’s been having nightmares. She’s been tossing and turning for weeks, and even though she fine during the day, I can feel the fear that niggles at her at night. She makes out like she’s fine, but I know. I can tell.

She finally walks forwards, her steps soft and uncertain, like they’re as close to going backwards as they are to going forwards. I can see her biting her lip. She doesn’t come into my room often, and when we talk, I usually go to her. She excepts my advances openly, but never makes any of her own.

“Can I sleep in here tonight?” she asks quietly, only a few steps in. Shy was never a word I would use to describe Autumn, but nothing else comes to mind.

Of course you can, I think, you always can, but I just nod silently. I know that if I state my thoughts, she’ll just get frazzled and try to leave. As confident as she was to everything else, she was always averse to me, and the moment I speak, encourage something more than friendship, she runs. It’s always best to work through direct actions, where her emotions get the better of her. Stolen kisses, secret moments.

She still comes haltingly, sitting on the most minimal amount of space at the foot of my bed. I sigh, and grab her around the waist, pulling her back, next to me. I can tell that’s she’s blushing, her cheek growing hotter where it rests against my chest.

“What’s wrong?” I ask her, staring at a small crack in the ceiling above my head.

“Nothing.”

“Autumn, I know that something’s wrong. There’s no way that you would come in here otherwise.” She tries to sit up in my arms, but I pull her down, holding her against me, half afraid that she’ll run away if I let me go.

“I’m not that bad,” she says defensively. “Am I?”

I sit up this time, pulling her with me so I can look her in the eyes. “You’re not bad at all,” I assure her. She looks at me hesitantly, her big, golden eyes catching the dim light in the room and reflecting it back. Her mouth twitches into the smallest, most beautiful of smiles and she wraps her arms around my neck, hugging my tightly. I’m shocked, I really am, but that doesn’t mean that I’m complaining. I hug her back.

I love her so much. I really do.

“I know that I am,” she laughs against my neck, her breath chasing shivers down my shine. “Bad I mean.”