Loving A Lie

29. Date at night

'Where is Amy..Amanda...?',he asked the nurse and then went silent as he obviously spotted me.   It wasn't very difficult given I was immobile and strapped to a tube and of course the heart monitoring machine and all. Now guess the answer to this million dollar question...how did the heart monitoring machine reacted when I heard Daniel call my name?
It buzzed loudly ,embarrassing the crap out of me. I could feel him smirk.
I heard the chairs scrap across the floor as my loyal friends got up from the chair and left me alone to the hungry lion. Shweta even whispered,'Have fun.',in my ears before going out.
Dammit they knew I was awake.
I knew it was a waste pretending but I could not bring my guts back to me to open my eyes and face Daniel.
    It was so irrational.
'I know you are awake.',his voice called making me want to open my eyes.
I slowly opened my eyes to face the incoming. A pair of intense blue eyes met mine. I could sense he was calculating something. It looked as if he was counting my injuries as his eyes roamed over me. His face was impassive, as his eyes came back to my face ,revealing nothing but regret.
'Am--',he started.

'Wait. Before you start, it wasn't your fault.'

'The hell it wasn't. Am-Amanda I just don't know how to say this...',he said then broke before continuing,' It was a mistake to let you into all this mess. I know it won't make any difference but I really am sorry. The worst part is that I'm all good ,standing in one piece and you were the one who had to be the closest.'
I monitored him ,he wasn't as unscathed as he was telling. There were scratches and a deep cut on his forearm. I instantly felt the draw to touch him, to comfort him. I strictly kept my hand to me.

' Shssh. No need for apologies. It was your car that is in ashes. That bomb was for you. It's you who needs the worry... Not me..'

'I don't want to scare you but that was meant for you. It was planted very carefully making sure that you were with me when the bomb ticks away.',,he said grimly.

My mouth turned into an 'O'.
I remembered the previous conversation of my friends. They were talking about the girl.
Oh.
'Oh.',I said.

'You are saying oh. Somebody's trying to kill you and you say oh.',he was angry positively.

'Somebody tried to kill you too and you don't seem scared.',I pointed out.

'Who says I'm not scared? I'm scared to my pants but not for me. I'm scared for you.'

'Why?',I asked. The way he was looking at me. It was scary.
It was too dense... I was hoping again. Stop Amy. I warned myself.
I couldn't look away as much as I tried. So I just said again,'Why?'

'I'm so tired right now. As much as I hate to go away I have an important meeting right now with the officer. Till then stay safe.', he murmured then bent slowly towards me with a determined purpose. I knew where this was going. I let it go. I raised my chin and took his lips. No guilt. No confused thoughts.
And he took mine. We kissed like never before. I could had been dead. He could had been dead. The fear of death takes away the little fears like what a committed boy would think if his neighbour kisses him. Damn his girlfriend.

Those thoughts were pushed to a corner.
'Open your eyes.',he said,his lips parting from mine. I groaned. It was so good. When I opened my eyes Daniel's blue eyes were locked with mine and now the guilt that was stored in the corner of my mind flowed freely.
One single tear flowed along with loads of guilt and I had to shut my eyes again to stop them.
'I have spent nights watching your eyes closed. Please keep them open. I cannot bear that. It was very difficult to see you that way, motionless,unmoving ,unsmiling.',he said with a grimace.

 Were his words hinting at his guilt or they meant what I felt when his lips touched mine? I couldn't construe what he meant.

The internal struggle was still adamantly going on in me, never at peace ,always at unrest for a forever now.
Daniel swept my hairs off my cheeks in a smooth movement sending warm tingles across my cheeks and I clung to his hands with both of my hands.
He was surprised at my action. 'Strange my kissing  doesn't surprise you as much as my holding you does.',I commented, voicing my thoughts loudly.
A flicker of confusion was evident on his face before he tucked my hairs back my ears. Without answering anything he took my face in his hand whilst touching his forehead to mine, and I had a feeling of heaven sedating me to my best dreams.
He kissed my forehead sloppily making me smile. ' Precious. You are precious to me.',he murmured the words onto my lips increasing their  worth a million times more. I lived in the sensation, feeling him closest to me.
His lips finally drifted away from mine taking away the pleasure, making me craving for more.
'Don't go.',I requested.