Sorry, Miss Silver (GirlxGirl)

Chapter Sixteen | I Surrender

Lauren

Have you ever been in an environment where the silence was stifling? Painful, even? When Anna called my name she caught me completely off guard, I hadn't mentally prepared to see her again. She was sitting in her mother's desk chair, looking as immaculate and beautiful as ever. Her dark blue eyes were fixed on me, her expression one of complete surprise. Neither of us could speak. What was there to say? This situation was too familiar, it was like the second time we met, when I went for my interview.... and fainted. This was very unsettling.

I cleared my throat uncertainly, thinking about how to proceed. Part of me wanted to turn around and leave, come back another day to see Max. But then another part of me, the more dominant part of my brain, wanted to stay and get some answers and closure. Unwittingly I felt my heartbeat increase it's rhythm. Damn that stupid effect she had on me.

Anna eventually spoke, showing her nerves by running a hand through her long blonde tresses. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you'd come here." She said quietly, her eyes not quite meeting mine. It was like she was ashamed.

"It's ok." I replied, trying to disguise any real emotion in my voice. "I just wanted to see Max."

A ghost of a smile flickered on Anna's face. "He's with my mother for the time being, at her home."

This news surprised me. "Why? Has she adopted him?"

"Something like that." My former boss mumbled. We both stayed still for a moment, unsure where to go from here. Anna eventually gave in to the painful silence. "I understand that you're not ready to talk to me yet, I really didn't expect to see you so soon. I was just... dropping something off here." She stood from the chair. "I'll be going now."

As she went to walk past me I held onto her arm, surprising myself. "No." I commanded. "I want to talk."

Anna raised her eyebrows. "You do?"

I nodded, looking down at my grip on her arm I quickly released her. Touching her still felt wrong at the moment, I needed my space. Anna seemed to understand, and tentatively went back to the desk chair.

"What happened to you? That night? Why did you..." I couldn't finish that sentence.
Scare me? Abuse me? Break my heart? All of them fit.

Her eyes squeezed shut and she clenched her fists, her whole demeanour was that of someone in pain. "I don't know, Lauren." She whispered. "You did, do, deserve so much better than me."

"Before that you were perfect." I argued. "I was so in love with you, but then after that night I became scared of you. That woman that looked after me, even from the first day we met, she wasn't there."

"No, you're right." Anna agreed. "She wasn't, but that woman who looked out of you, who is so desperately in love with you, that is me. Or about the most me I have ever been. I felt so messed up, I'm sorry I cannot explain it, but since that night I have been working so hard to put my life right. So I could prove to you that I was worthy and earn your love back."

"Try and explain it." I said. "I think I deserve that at least."

Anna tilted her head back and closed her eyes. "I never fully understood before, but after resolving my issues with my parents I think my childhood had affected me more than I knew. I felt so lonely, and so desperate to control something in my life. My Dad was not there for me, neither was my mother, I had no way of doing anything myself because I had to take care of Dad when he went out and got himself drunk. When I was putting myself through College and lied to my tutors about the cuts on my arms. I was so frustrated, and angry. And that manifested in this dark type of control." She opened her eyes, and fixed her tearful blue gaze on me. "None of this excuses what I did to you, and I can never apologise enough. But I'm going to prove to you that I can be better, that I can be good enough for you."

I was speechless, truly speechless. There was no other thought in my head about how much I regretted being mad at her for so long. Yes what she did was wrong, but she isn't making excuses and she knows it. And I had never had anyone love me like she did, every day I had looked at the necklace that she'd given me, and I remembered how it felt when she gave it to me. When we made love. When she held me. It wasn't right, but being without her wasn't right either. I couldn't do it, and I wouldn't deny myself that anymore.

Anna had closed her eyes again, she looked so anguished and lost I knew I needed to clarify how I felt. Quietly I went over to her and straddled her, my legs either side of her on the chair. Resting my hands on either side of her face I leaned in slowly, brushing my lips against her soft plump ones. "Do you love me?"

She opened her eyes, a single tear rolled down her cheek. "More than I ever thought possible." She whispered.

I bit my lip. "I feel exactly the same."

Her eyes flickered to my lips and we both couldn't fight it anymore. Our resistance crumbled as we both leaned in, meeting in a soothing flame that revived my entire body and soul. As I felt her kiss me passionately, it awoke all my feelings that I thought had left me, I was so in love and I would never give Anna up again. I felt her delicate hands pull me closer, so I did the same. I wanted us to be as close as we could be, skin to skin, I needed to feel her to feel alive again. As the kiss became more heated I pulled away, needing to catch my breath.

We pressed our foreheads together as we both tried to calm our laboured breathing. It was relatively silent for a moment, but then Anna started laughing. The sound filled me with so much joy I just never wanted the sound to stop. "What's so funny?" I asked, with a smile forming on my own face.

She sighed, amused. "Do you think it was fate that we both came here today? Like the time you hid in my car?"

I chuckled. "Maybe, although I don't really believe in fate. What I do know is, I have exceptional luck."

Anna smirked in that sexy way that she does, and ran her fingers through my hair. "I think you'll find I have all the luck. Wherever I am, I always seem to find you."

"Don't ever stop finding me." I said, softly.

In that moment I knew, and I think that she did too, that we would always come back to each other. No matter what happens now or any other day, life, fate, God or whatever it could be controlling our lives, we would always find our way back to each other. Back home, in her arms, the place where I truly wanted to be.

Anna's face softened, she pulled me close she could whisper softly. "I promise."

Nothing else mattered to me now. I had made my choice, call me crazy, call me stupid, but I loved her. She was everything to me and the only person I could ever see myself with. See my future with, I wanted everything and all of it with this beautiful, flawed angel.

Miss Annastasia Silver, I am yours.

TO BE CONTINUED......

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A/N There we go guys, that is the end of book one!!! Book two will be coming shortly with a lot more drama and consequences to come, you don't want to miss it. I will give you guys an update on when it's up, but if you want to be the first to know, why not follow me? 😉

Aaaaanyway I hope you guys enjoyed this and I'm excited to write the next part of their lives! See you then chickens. But until that time comes, adios! Xxx