HughTube

Chapter 8

I sat across from Principal Townsend in his office, the door closed tight. He just sat there silently in his cracked faux leather chair, swaying back and forth a bit in the turning seat. I pondered my possible fate. Would he suspend me? Expel me?? Or worse, make me clean up the mess in the cafeteria?!

Finally, after a period of silence longer than I'd ever heard him be silent before, Mr. Townsend spoke. "Hugh... you know this is very hard for me."

Oh boy. Now I was starting to feel bad for the guy.

"I don't like to see myself as one of those tough, jerky principals you always see in the movies. Heck, I'm just an old softy, you know that."

The guilt was really building up inside me now, and I started to sweat. Oh, get it over with already! Just expel me now! I deserve it! I poisoned half the student body! And why? Just so I could win some stupid student government title that doesn't really mean much anyway! Like a band-aid, rip it off fast and it'll hurt less!

"But... I have to do something," Mr. Townsend continued. "People are watching me, they're depending on me to do the right thing. I mean, if I let you get away with this, then what's the next student going to do? I have to take decisive action here!... unless..."

I jumped out of my seat, ready to throw myself out of school. "Mr. Townsend, I – " But then I stopped. Uh... did he just say "unless"? I sat back down again, but I leaned closer to hear more clearly. "Unless...??"

"...Unless you can, maybe, make some adjustments to your Social Studies class project that would allow for... more screen time for the Principal of your school... perhaps?"

I sat slowly back into my chair. Ah, politics. I scratch your back, you scratch mine. I may not get most things in life, but I got this. "So..." I said suggestively, "I give you more of a role on HughTube, and we can make this whole... unpleasantness just go away?"

"This is purely a suggestion to improve your class project, you understand," Mr. Townsend said, trying to convince himself more than me. "I have to think of my students' education first and foremost."

"Well," I said, standing up again, "I think that you'll find your presence in future HughTube episodes will be significantly and substantially greater – entirely to increase my class project's educational value, of course."

"Of course!" Mr. Townsend said, still quite serious.

I wasn't thrilled by any of this, I think you should know. After all, now I had to pad every future HughTube episode with the bumbling shenanigans of this frustrated actor, giving him the international exposure he so desperately craved but didn't deserve. But if I didn't do this, HughTube would be off the air forever. So I bit the bullet and did what I had to do. I did it for HughTube.

Mr. Townsend brightened up and leapt out of his seat. "So, I'll see you out there! And when you see me coming, get that camera rolling!"

"From now on, Mr. Townsend," I said, "you are the star of HughTube."

Mr. Townsend beamed from ear to ear. "I'm the star!"

Oh, the compromises we have to make for a political career.