Blood As My Ink

Quicken

It comes and goes,

Every so often.

Like my stomach drops,

Like my tongue dries,

Like my eyes have gone soft

And are crushed by a pressure

That resonates in the middle of my spine

So that even the breeze might pull me down.

I wonder about an other me.

Every so often

I feel like my life is weird,

I feel like my soul quivers,

I feel like I'm not me

But someone else is

And I can't help but wish that I was

Anywhere but right here and right now.

It's like my life isn't what I want it to be.

When a crow caws

And opens its maw

One might hear.

But its like I see one

Out of the corner of my eye

But it caws and caws

And nothing pours out.

That's when the wishing comes.

I wish I was taller.

I wish I was smarter.

I wish I could create something magnificent,

I wish I could make someone love me,

I wish that one day I won't die

I wish that one day I'll actually cry, but

I can't even write it down.

I suppose, this is what living feels like.

I suppose, this is natural as breath.

I suppose

I suppose

And I suppose.

I don't know what to say.

I suppose that's what it's like

When blood is quicker than the brain.