Liliana Mae Rosa Shelby // A Thomas Shelby Fanfiction // UNDER EDITING

15- CATERINA

Turning up to the meeting of the woman who had raised his daughter for the past ten years drunk was not one of Tommy's proudest moments. 

His nerves had rattled him like they did in the tunnels of France and he found himself slowly slipping back into the fear and frighten he felt not two years ago. Once Isabella had left him, unbeknown to her husband's plans for the evening, he'd consumed another half a bottle of whiskey and some of Arthur's finest snow before slipping on his cap, razor sitting comfortably in the seam. 

He almost wanted to believe this was a joke, and so he riled up many different scenarios in his head to make up an excuse for the boys to come with him. Would he be faced with the same men all those years ago on that evening in July when Lily had been taken? Or would he be faced with a woman who wore a smug smile and voiced a callous laugh? 

He wasn't sure, but either or, he wasn't mentally, nor physically prepared for the next hour ahead of him. Thomas could kill. He could maim people and he could leave them clasping for breath as he unleashed his inner devil inside. He wouldn't even as such bat an eyelid at his actions and would return home to his family after a normal day at the office. But this wasn't the same. He couldn't murder a woman. Well, he could, but he wouldn't; his mother would bring hell down around his ears if he even thought of such an act. 

He didn't know whether to feel gratitute or hatred. Why had this woman, Rina, contacted him after all these years? Was Lily hurt, had something happened to her? Was she dead? He didn't know, but he also knew that he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he never found out. 

It was a funny thing, really. After ten years he had an oppurtunity at knowing where his daughter was and he almost cowardly ran in the opposite direction. Tommy hadn't experienced a situation like this, where he was the least in control. He was always in control. 

Soon enough he found himself in Spark Hill awaiting for said woman to turn up. Would Lily be with her, or would she turn up alone? 

The thought of meeting his daughter again for the first time whilst drunk made his stomach twist into knots, and Tommy was soon throwing up the contents of his stomach just at the thought. Nerves didn't cut it, he was fucking unsettled, terrified, out of his depth. He was so far from himself he didn't know what to do or say, and he hadn't even thought about what he would say, or how he would explain his wife wasn't by his side at the most important meeting of his life. 

As he wiped his mouth, Tommy sighed thinking of his wife. He had lied to her again. He had betrayed her, again. He didn't know how he would explain this to Isabella, either good or bad news he wasn't sure, but he wasn't ready for the heartache that would follow. He knew, he knew this would break them apart should she find out. It didn't matter if she heard it from Thomas himself or someone from down the Lane; she would leave him, and he couldn't afford to lose his wife and another daughter. 

He wouldn't have anything else to live for. 

"Thomas?" 

He startled. Stood in fucking shock. He daren't turn around because he knew it made this real. There were no men with guns, no woman with a smug smile or callous laugh. This was all fucking real. 

Hesitantly, he turned around. He didn't know what he was going to expect and who he was going to be faced with and his stomach bubbled with fear at being faced with someone he knew.