HunHan: Enough ¦ 슬픈 사랑 Series

01: catch-22

Sehun started to be like that since Luhan came back from China. Laging late sa dinner dates, laging hindi ma-contact, laging busy sa schedule nyang hindi naman nag-eexist.

"I can't. I'm busy."

Ni hindi masiksik ang ilang minutong phone call sa jam-pack nyang schedule. Ni hindi makapag set ng date para sa isang araw na quality time. Wala. Walang effort.

Sya nalang lagi ang gumagawa ng paraan para at least naman maramdaman nyang meron pang sila. Para maramdaman nyang si Sehun pa rin n'ya ang kasama nya, at hindi Sehun ng iba.

Mahirap.

Nahihirapan na sya.

-

"Asan ka ba?" Pilit nyang kinakalma ang sarili. Alam nya kasing pag nagsinungaling pa si Sehun kung nasan 'to. Hindi nya na mapigilan ang sarili nyang mag break down.

"Nasa condo ako. Kakagising ko lang."

Muntik na syang matawa. Muntik na syang mapamura, sa inis, sa sakit. Well, putangina. How many lies can Sehun spout in one phone call na bihira na nga lang mangyari, tapos puro kasinungalingan pa.

"Kakagising mo lang?"

"Yeah. Had some tough schedule last night."

Tinitigan ni Luhan ang bakanteng kama ni Sehun sa harap nya. Gusto nyang tanungin kung saang condo ba ang sinasabi nito, dahil leche, nakapagluto na sya ng breakfast at nakapag ligpit ng condo ni Sehun pero kahit anino nito, wala.

"Ganon ba. Gusto mo bang puntahan na kita dyan? I'm gon-" He choked back a lump in his throat. Not now. "-gonna cook you breakfast. Is that alright?"

"No, it's fine. I have a morning schedule. Sa set nalang ako kakain." He wanted to fucking ask. He wanted to fucking shout.

Pero alam nyang mag aaway lang sila, and fighting over the phone never gives a good outcome. He'll talk to him face-to-face. Maybe they could kiss and make up. Maybe Sehun could come up with a better reason.

Mabilis nyang niligpit ang nilutong pagkain atsaka lumabas sa condo ni Sehun. He never thought that Sehun's lies would even go this far. Akala yata ni Sehun ganon sya katanga.

--

"Yixing. Is everything alright with Baba?"

Isa pa 'to. His father started to get sick. The company is dying. Hindi nya na alam. Sobrang dami nyang iniisip. Minsan gusto nyang magkwento kay Sehun pero lagi naman tong walang oras para sakanya.

Harap-harapan pa syang niloloko.

"Everything is fine, kakatulog-tulog nya lang din kanina. Hinahanap ka nga lang. Kailan ka ba ulit uuwi?"

"Alam mo naman, I'm trying to be as influencial as Baba, para naman paglapat ng kompanya sa kamay ko, mapaikot ko yan ng maayos."

Sometimes, he wonder, is all this sacrifice worth his father's life? Or is the company worth all this sacrifices? Is Sehun worth sacrificing for?

"Sige na. I'm gonna call again tomorrow. Sabihin mo kay Mama. Magpahinga din sya. She can't get sick too."

Pinatay nya ang tawag, at sinalubong sya ng katahimikan. His condo was so silent that he ended up turning the tv on para hindi sya matuliro.

Not music.

Conversations on television makes his house seem lively, kahit hindi naman talaga. It's just so hard to cope up. With alien people, talking a whole different language, in a foreign country. He was so thankful that he had Sehun with him, tinutulungan sya, laging nandyan. But the situation seems to take a 180 degree turn and it was all suddenly so different. Sehun seems foreign too. He changed.

If it has something to do with him going back to China for six months, hindi nya rin alam. Sehun never talked to him about it. Sehun never asked. Kapag magkasama sila, he seemed so distant. Parang lumilipad kung saan ang utak nito. Parang nasa kabilang mundo. Wala sakanya.

At hindi sya tanga para hindi malaman ang dahilan kung bakit to nagkakaganito.

He will fucking destroy whoever it is. Sehun made a wrong choice.

●●●

"Okay ka lang ba? Sigurado kang wala kang sakit?"

Halos dalawang linggo. Dalawang linggong walang paramdam, nagulat nalang sya ng tumawag isang araw si Sehun at sabihin na may importante daw tong sasabihin sakanya.

"Nakakagulat lang. Akala ko kasi nagkalimutan na tayo?"

Pinanuod nya kung paano ihagod ng lalaki ang kamay sa buhok nito saka napasandal sa bangko. If that's not annoyed, he doesn't know what it was.

"I can't think of anything that suits this atmosphere the most Sehun." Alam nya kung anong gustong sabihin ng lalaki. Nararamdaman nya yon. From his exasperated look, to his clammy palms and how guarded he is.

"Luhan--"

"Are you breaking up with me?"

Hindi nakasagot si Sehun.

At muntik na syang manlumo dahil don. So he's really breaking up with him? After so many things they did, so many memories they had, so much love they've felt, ganon na lang? Just break up?

"We both know we're hurting each other Luhan. It's not healthy."

Pinigilan nya ang luha nya. No, no crying. He's not that guy, the one who begs, the one who flaunts his weakness just to get pity.

"How am I hurting you? Is this still about me going back to China eight months ago?"

"You didn't tell me about it. Wala. Nalaman ko nalang sa secretary mo na umalis ka. Tapos anim na buwan Luhan? Without knowing what you're fucking doing there. Tanga ba ko sa tingin mo?"

If he let Sehun's words affect him... hindi nya maayos to. He had to be the tough one between them. If Sehun's giving up then he will never ever. Ilalaban nya to hanggang sa huli.

"Who is she?"

"What?" Umiwas ng tingin si Sehun, tumingin sa bintana ng restaurant saka ibinalik ang tingin sakanya. "Are you fucking serious Luhan?"

"Am I wrong? Should it be he?"

Tumalim ang mga tingin ni Sehun and he knew he's fucking right.

"You don't know anything that happened in those six months Luhan. Just like I don't know what you've been doing in China the whole time. Kasi hindi ka nagparamdam. Kasi nangiwan ka sa ere."

"Pero hindi yon approval para humanap ka ng iba." Kalamado nyang sagot sa lalaki, kahit na umiikot na ang sikmura nya at gusto nya nang sumuka sa sakit at galit, he kept it in. "Tell me, sino sya?"

Umiling lang si Sehun saka tumawa bago sya tignan. "You're fucking insane Luhan."

He is insane. He's mad.

"If you tell me about him, then I'm going to break up with you just like what you wanted. No dramas. You just have to tell me who he is."

Umiling lang ulit si Sehun.

"Give me a name Sehun. I won't try to find out who he is. Gusto ko sayo mismo manggaling." Matigas nyang sabi.

Alam nyang hindi yon gagawin ni Sehun, and it hurts him that Sehun loves that guy more than him. Na hahayaaan sya ni Sehun na masaktan para lang protektahan ang lalaki nya.

For the next five weeks, walang nagbago. Just Sehun being the liar he is and him being the stupid guy.

Pero hindi nya alam na kasabay ng phone call na gumising sakanya nung gabing yon, magigising din sya sa katangahan nya sa loob ng tatlong buwan.

"Lu-ge, Baba is gone."

●●●

sehubo