HunHan: Enough ¦ 슬픈 사랑 Series

06: it's not the love, it's the lover

"Why the fuck are you here Luhan?"

Nakaupo sya sa kama nya, Sehun in front of him, shouting at his face like he's the one at fault.

"Tangina mo rin." Sagot nya rito.

"Really? You're talking trash now?"

"At least it's just my words, hindi katulad mo at nung lalaki mo parehas basura!"

Bago pa man nya makamayan ang lalaki ni Sehun sa Dining Hall kanina, mabilis na agad syang hinatak nito paalis while asking him his room number. Pagdating nila sa kwarto nya, hindi nya alam kung anong mararamdaman.

Is it the time to slap him? Confront him? Nagulat pa nga sya na sya pa ang unang kinompronta ni Sehun. Asking him bullshit questions like Why are you here?

Hindi na nagsalita pa ulit si Sehun pagkatapos nyang banggitin ang lalaki nito.

"What's his name Sehun? Hindi ko kasi natanong kanina. I have a lot of fucking questions right now that only he and his slutty ass can answer!" Tumayo sya sa kama, not minding Sehun's furious glare. "Does he moan sluttier than me? Tinatawag ka ba nyang daddy? Or master? Does he fulfill your fucking fantasies?! ANO?! Ano bang meron sya na wala ako?"

"Honesty."

The fuck?!

"If he had any ounce of honesty in his body, he wouldn't touch someone who has a boyfriend." Singhal nya sa lalaki.

Honesty?

"He has nothing to do with this Luhan. Ako lang ang may kasalanan nito. Baekhyun has nothing to do with this."

Fucking asshole. Fucking Oh Sehun.

Gusto nyang magwala, to throw things at Oh Sehun, to shove something down his throat. To just fucking hurt him the way he's hurting right now. Gusto nyang saktan si Sehun katulad ng pananakit na ginagawa nito sakanya. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve this hurting.

"Do you love him that much?"

Sinagot sya ni Sehun ng katahimikan, at hindi nya alam kung ito na ba yung sinasabi nilang 'Silence means yes'.

The silence slowly cuts his heart like thick knife, slicing it into thin strips and then mincing it until it becomes powder. And it hurts more than anything. Ni walang sinabing masakit na salita si Sehun, ni hindi nga to nagsalita, but that silence was the most unforgiving weapon Sehun wielded at him.

Nakakabingi.

He can feel his heart depleting, as the silence stretched on. Kaya nagsalita sya...

"Do you still love me?" This time it was in his tiniest voice, uncertain to ask, afraid to hear the answers. Fuck why did he even let those words out of his mouth?

And what Sehun gave him was the same answer as the first question, silence.

Napaupo nalang sya sa kama. Nakatingin sa malayo. He felt so drained, so resigned. Bakit nga naman ba sya naghihintay ng sagot sa tanong na alam nya naman na kung anong sagot. Sehun wouldn't touch that guy, heck he wouldn't even looked at that Baekhyun if he really loves him right?

"Go."

Nilunok nya yung luha na kanina pa gustong lumabas.

"Luhan—"

"Just go Sehun, please?" Ni wala nang tapang sa boses nya, gusto nya nalang lumabas si Sehun sa kwarto para makaiyak na sya. Sobrang sakit na, kailangan nya nang ilabas yon—but not when Sehun's around. Not when the culprit of his pain watches him crumble into tiny feeble fragments of himself.

And he knew, that the moment Sehun turn his back away from him, they will never ever meet again. Hinintay nya tong maglakad palayo, tangina, gusto nya tong itulak palabas ng kwarto, but at the same time he doesn't want Sehun to go back to the guy on the other room.

He's torn between letting him go, and possesively keeping him all to himself.

He's never been irrational all his life, but he knew that if it's not Sehun, he will never ever love again.

It always have to be Oh Sehun.

Hindi manlang natinag si Sehun sa kinatatayuan nito, nakayuko, nakakuyom ang mga kamay, at nakapikit.

Just by looking at this guy, he can already hear the questions inside his head. Ano, kailan, paano... bakit?

He just needed Sehun to spout anything. Anything.

Para lang kalmahin nya ang utak nya kakaisip kung anong mali sakanya. Just to collect his thoughts and not let it wander into thinking stupid reasons. Just to keep his sanity in place. Just to keep his insecurities at bay.

Isang matinong dahilan lang ang kailangan nya. That's maybe the reason why he asked the question 'do you still love me?' because the only rational reason he could come up with right now is Sehun falling out of love with him.

Sabi nya, ilalaban nya to. Yes, gusto nya, gusto nyang ilaban pa tong natitira sakanila, but does Sehun want it too? As much as he wants it?

Dumilat si Sehun, saka sya tinignan. Sehun has this anguished, pained expression that he doesn't know if for him or for the guy on the other room. Nagulat nalang sya ng maglakad si Sehun, hindi paalis ng kwarto kundi palapit sakanya.

And everything melted around him when Sehun leaned into him and trapped his lips using his own. He was immediately frozen in place, he didn't even get to move or blink nang humiwalay rin si Sehun sakanya. Yumuko ito and the next thing he saw made him so fucking confused.

Sehun is crying.

Bakit? Para kanino?

Is he breaking up with him? Are they really ending things? Is Sehun picking the guy instead of him, instead of them?

Hinawakan nya sa pisngi si Sehun, saka nya iginiya ang muka nito para humarap sakanya. Sehun just need to say the words, i don't love you, let's end things. Just say it, and he will let him go.

"I hate you so fucking much Luhan, I hate you, but I still love you too."

And that was all his tears needed for them to started slipping down. He let them out like a fucking downpour.

This is the Sehun he knew... this is Sehun right here. Hindi yung pilit nyang pinoportray nitong mga nakaraang araw. Not the revengeful, angry Sehun. Not the numb, cold Sehun he talks to. Not the lying Sehun. This... this is his Sehun.

Kaya hinatak nya ito pabalik sakanya, kissing him like he can't get enough of him.

He let Sehun take him, have him, he gave everything he had. He made Sehun forget about the guy on the other room. He moaned sluttier, called him every single kinky thing he can come up with. He talked dirtier, sucked him, ride him, until he himself cannot move any single muscle in his body.

And after all of their escapades, he let Sehun make love to him, until he can't take it anymore.

In short, they kissed and made up, or so he thought—

Nagising sya ng 9PM ng gabi, Sehun was rustling beside him kaya naman tinignan nya ito, and he saw Sehun putting on his shirt, while he already wore his pants.

"San ka pupunta?"

Bumangon sya, not minding his bare skin. Gumapang sya papunta sa kabilang parte ng kama, and reached for Sehun. Pero umiwas 'to sakanya.

"I'm sorry Luhan... but I really need to get back there."

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sehubo