book of feelings . minyoongaying

four

T A E  

ugh, life is being a bitch i swear. i dont know when the exams are starting, my mind is filled with too many outrageous scenarios, my anxiety and depression is slowly crawling under my skin... again. i wanted to kill myself on 15 february, ha. that was funny, my friend told me that i wont do it anyways so she isnt worried about me... do i really have to prove it? to show that i can do it? that i can kill myself? red, reminds me of blood. that beautiful liquid that helped us to live until now, the thing that most murderers have in their hand. blood.. red, thick.. but its addicting. anyways, im so tired of caring i cant even worry about myself. to expect to get messages from you :") yay. ill just wait... wait, alright. until something bad happens and everything falls apart, life is great! i care too much about people that i push myself away so much.. i dont see my tears because its blurry. i, i cant... you left us, and i cant breathe. yes you used me to get over her, yes i get it but... im fucking hurt. im just another toy, im glad i at least helped you to move on :) the cuts hurts so much, it hurts so much.it fucking stings, blood comes out but im a fucking pussy. please help me, wake me up from this dream. this nightmare, please