Life After You

Life After You - Chapter 2- the sign

The sign.
Chapter 2.
Thanks for reading and enjoy!

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                      Chapter-2
I'm not going back.
I'm not going back.
I'm not going back.
I said to myself.
There is no way I can do this without Chris..
I know exactly what gonna happen..
"Omg Alison!! You are back! How are you feeling?!! I'm so so so so so so so so so sorry!!!!"
"Alison babe.. come sit with us! I'm so sorry for Chris.. big lost."
"Alison! If you need anything.. a hug or maybe someone to talk to..I'm here.. and here is all the materials.. If you need.."
"Alison!! Omg. I heard about your boyfriend.. what was his name again..?.. right! Sam right?..?!"
Ok!
No!
Im not going back.
No matter what.. I can't do this.
But I know in some point in my life I I'll have to.
"Alison! Come on we will be late!"
I grabbed my bag and I went to the kitchen.
"Mom. We are not going."
"What? No! You have to babe!"
"I don't care! I know exactly what gonna happen! I'm not ready for all of this.."
"Alison.. I know it's was a hard time for you.. it's was hard time for all of us.. I'm sure that Chris wanted from you to move on."
"You dont know anything. Don't act like you care and you know!"
".. I'm sorry.. but that's the truth.."
"Shut up! Shut up! Don't you dare to talk like you was care! You never loved him! So who are you you gonna say and talk like you know what he wants?!"
"Alison?!"
"No! Don't talk about him near to me. Don't talk about him at all ok?!"
I took my bag and got out from my house.
My mother pissed me off.
Who is she?!
How dose she knows what dose Chris wanted?!
No buddy dose! No buddy understand!
My life is pulling apart..
Chris.. I need you more than anything..
Why?
You didn't even left me a note or a message.. nothing.
And I don't know if I can forgive you for what you did.
"Alison.. Dear.. I'm so happy to see you.."
The principal was putting on me.
I don't want anyone to do that.
Chris is still here.. he can hear everyone.. he don't want to people putting.
"I'm fine Mrs Tomphson.."
"We missed you allot.."
"Thank you.. it's nice to be back again.."
"How are you.. after everything?.."
"..can we just go to class please?.."
".. of course.."
Mrs Tomphson was looking at me every two seconds.. we was passing the hallway and than we got to my class.. I don't know if someone knew I'm coming back.. but I don't care.. I just want to finish this year and get the hell out of here.
"Good morning class.. today a spacial guest coming back today, Ms Loren?"
I was getting into the class.. everyone was staring at me with their puppy eyes.
I hate when people do that.
I'm not a poor girl. I'm just a teen who lost her boyfriend.
"I would expect from everyone to be nice and patient with Alison.
And help her with the materials.. after out big lost.. I want to say that I'm very sorry for your lost Alison.."
"..thank you."
I wanted to cry.. I was sad but angry at the same time.
She was talking like I wasn't here!
I'm here! And I expect from people to act to me like the other's!
"Ok.. I will go but always remember that I'm here for you.. if you need me you just only come to my office ok dear?.."
"Yes, Thank you but I don't think I want your help Mrs Tomphson."
Everyone started to giggle.. I don't think it's funny.
Mrs Tomphson didn't notice me or to Chris since we started to learn here.
".. I'm sorry for killing your time Mr Mayers." Mrs Thompson was ambeerssd  she got out from the class and went to her office.
there was a empty sit in the end of the class.. I liked that.. now I will be far from everyone.
"Hey.. Alison.. you still remember me right?.."
"Jenna.. I wosnt here for only 3 months.."
".. I know.. but here.. this is all the material.. I guess you need to catch up huh?.."
"Yeah.. thanks."
"And again.. I'm really sorry for Chris.. he was a good guy.. I liked him."
".. thank you."
"So.. there is a party on Saturday.. you wanna come?"
A party on my first day?
I gusse I'm in a good position..
But im not going.
I prefer to stay home and sleep.
Or maybe to write.. and catch up.
".. um.. thanks for inviting me.. that's really nice of you.. but I can't.."
"Oh.. ok.. so if you gonna change your mind.. there is the address.."
"Thank you.. but I won't change mind Jenna."
Jenna had allot of friends.
She was learning with Chris math.. they bearly talked to each other but..
Oh well, everyone thinks now that Chris was their bff.
"Hey Alison!! Omg.. I'm so sorry.. I wanted to call and come but I didn't.."
"It's totally fine London."
London was the most annoying girl at school.
She is the girl that everyone wants to be with.. she is beautiful she is not that smart.. a cheerleader and the captain of course.
She didn't even knew Chris.. but she knew me.
Her father was the boss of my dad.
She is very rich.. well the princess..
"When I heard.. I wanted to cry.. im so sorry babe.. ugh.. are you ok?"
London gave me hug.
But I need to be nice.. because they at least show some respect for Chris.
"I'm fine.. you kind of crushing me right now.. but.."
"Oh! Sorry! .. i need to show you something the school did.."
London took me to the hollway near to the cafeteria..
Than I sew a a table with Chris's stuff.
His notebooks.. pictures he had in his locker.. And his clothes.
Than there was allot of flowers and candles.. and some latters the students was writing.
"Everyone did this.. I hope you ok with that.."
"No.. its.. it's very nice of you all.. um.. can you excuse me for a second?.."
I walked fast to the bathroom.. and I started to cry.
I cant still understand that he is gone.
And why?!?
He told me everything! He was ok with everyone.. his parents his family.. than why?!
What was the reason for that?!
He was high?! Drunk?
I know everything about him! I can't find anything..
"Ms Loren?"
When I got into the second class.. two cops came and asked for me.
"Yeah..?"
"Can you please come with us?"
Everyone was looking at me like I just murdered a person.. it's felt like that..
I got up and got into Mrs Tomphson's office.
"Alison.. don't get into panic.. the cops here because they just want to ask you few questions.. is that ok with you?.."
"I don't know..  I guess..?"
"Ms Loren.. I understand that you and Chris swift had a relationship.. but we really need you to tell us..
Is Chris ever Talked to you about hurting himself or..?"
"What?.. no! Of course he didn't!"
"Than do you have any idea what could possibly be the reason for his death?"
"Why are you asking me that? I don't know! Chris didn't told me he didn't left a note or a video or a message it something! Chris didn't told anyone.. he just did it.."
"I understand it's hard for you.."
"No.. you can't understand.. You don't know what kind of relationship we had.."
Tears in my eyes.. all I wanted to do is just run.. I knew it's a bad idea to come back..
"Ms Loren.. can you please tell us.. did you spoke to him in his last hours?.."
When the cop ask me that.. bad flashbacks started to recording in my head..
I remember every last moment with Chris..
"It's was in Saturday.. We spoked on the phone.. He sounds normal like nothing happened.. He was telling me he loves me when the conversation ended..
And in the morning I got the news.. that my boyfriend.. died.."
"I'm so sorry to hear that Ms Loren..
Did Chris had problems with friends?.. parents?.. Money?.."
"No! His parents loves him! And they pretty much wealthy.. and everyone loved Chris.. "
"Than why Chris died?" Mrs Thompson asked.
"The doctor said he probably wasn't healthy.. in his mind if course.. "
When I heard the cops talking like that.. the only thing I wanted to do is to punch him.. how could he even say that?!! Chris was fine! He was healthy and happy! He was fine!
"Excuse me?!"
I said.
"What are you talking about?! Chris was healthy! He was So healthy! You don't know him! So why don't you shut that mouth before you speak like that to a person that you don't know?!
"Alison!" Mrs Thompson said.
"No! Don't! I'm done I'm done with all of this! I knew Chris.. he is ok.. I don't know why he did this to me.. to him.. but.. "
I took my bag and got out of the room.
I got out from school.. and drived..
To god knows where..
I was driving to the cemetery..
I wanted to see him.. I missed him in so many ways..
The thought of moving on.. Without you Chris..
Why?
Mrs Thompson was right.. about one thing.
Why you killed yourself like that?
When I got into the cemetery.. I sew his grave..
And than I cried.. so hard.
The pain.
I can't stop it.. I just want it to stop.
"I hate you Chris.. I hate you so much!! Why you did that to me?! Yo died!!! You died and you left me all alone here.. to deal with life! Life without you! So tell me.. what I need to do.. because I don't know.. please.. I just wish it's just a bad dream.. I just want to wake up already! "
I set on his grave and didn't stopped to cry.. after a while I did.
Just set there staring on the ground and thinking.
All the memories.. all the Time we spent..
I never thought I could love someone like I love Chris.
We was supposed to be in the same college.. and than getting married..
We planned that.
I guess people don't realize our relationship..
He loved me so much.. but.. I gusse not that much if he did that..
"I just want you to know.. I'm still here.. trying.. trying.
I really do Chris.. every day I'm trying not to break down.. not to hurt myself.. and trying to he with you.
It's hard here.. without you.. but I just wish I would know why you did that..
You was smart.. you always did things for a reason..
I know you had a reason for that.. "
When I was almost leaving.. I sew a sign.. on the grave.. a sign that I sew before.. I just don't remember where..
When I got home I took a hot shower.. trying to clear my thoughts.
And than.. it cames to me.
Where I sew the sign..
I remember that one day me and Chris went to a store stupid movie.. when he was talking about the guy with the same sign.. he told me he had a book.. 
When I was looking for the book in the shelf.. I found it.
I opened the book.. and the sign was On the book in some page.
I started to cry.. I can't believe for what I sew.
"Alison.
I know you would find that some day.. you are smart..
I know.. but please.. don't freak out.. I just died..
I just wanted you to find that..
I love you.
Chris."
But.. what? I was looking in all the pages to search maybe there was another message from Chris.. but no.
There was just an address..
"12M street, room 9 Joe."
What?  What dose Chris trying to tell me?!
I don't remember that he was talking about this address.. but who is Joe?.. is that even a person?
Since when Chris becoming such a secret guy suddenly?
What all this signs?!
What are you trying to tell me Chris? Because I don't know.
The morning came.. I felt so sick.
I was thinking all night about this address.. should I go to check?.. should I tell someone?
What if it's dangerous?..
Who knows.. maybe Chris had a secret life in a gang Or something?..
"Hey babe.."
"Mom?"
"Mrs Thompson told me everything last day.."
"Of course she did."
"How are you..? I know it's was hard for you.."
"I'm ok. I'm still alive if that's what you want to know."
"That's not funny Alison."
"Whatever."
"I made breakfast.."
"I'm not hungry."
"Are you going to school today..?"
"I don't know.. im really tired and sick so.."
"Ok.. um.. rest.. you need that."
"Yaha ok.."
"Alison?.. I love you honey."
".. I love you too Mom."
My mother closed the door.
Im going to check the address..
Chris put it there for a reason.
He wants me to go and check..
Maybe it's the reason for why he died.. maybe it's something.. or maybe it's not.
But in this point I don't have anything to lose.
I don't care anymore.. I just want to know.