Okay so I forgot to start this at the start of the year oops. Today was pretty shit tbh. It was going okay until I found out my English teacher put me in to do higher tier English Literature. I knew if I did higher tier I would fail. I decided to ask him why he did it and he said "I put you in when I thought you were trying" with a sly tone to his voice. That put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day tbh and I went home and did something I regretted. When people think I am not trying at all it makes me feel like shit. I am revising quite a lot and trying my hardest at everything but it doesn't stick in my brain. I was clean of self harm for 2 years until today. Felt like an idiot after I did it though. I don't know why I did it. Pretty stupid reason tbh. Things just set me off and I start to think about life and my future. I'm terrified of my future and how everything will work out. I'm terrified of my GCSEs. The exams are coming up soon and I don't want to do them. Exams actually make me want to kill myself.