I'm back. Don't want to be back. I'm still broken. Even more so than before. Matty doesn't want me anymore. He found someone else and changed his relationship status on Facebook 2 days after he told me he mum doesn't want us to ever be together. The real reason we couldn't be together is because he found another girl. He moved on so quickly and I can't. I spent ages thinking about whether or not I actually loved him. I did. I feel so stupid for it to be honest. I have fallen for people too fast. I was too scared to make new friends but he made that all go away. Until he became a person I fell for too fast. I trust people too fast. Everyone I trust just hurts me after they are done getting what they wanted. I haven't had that much emotion since everything happened with Matty. The last time I truly felt happy was when I was talking to him. I just feel numb now. When I laugh the smile disappears in a few seconds. It feels so fake. I can't cry when I want to cry. I will just stay in my room and stare at a wall. He said to me that I would hang out with people that hate him just to get back at him. I didn't want to do that but I have automatically gone to hang out with them and I don't know why. I knew we wouldn't last though. I didn't want to tell my mum, that we were dating, because I knew this would happen. She still doesn't know that we aren't going to be a thing anymore. I can't tell her. She was so excited and now I am too scared to tell her.
