Love is a Losing Game

Prologue

Love. What a phony notion that is. People will tell you that they'll love you forever, that they'll never hurt you, and that they'll never leave you. It's all a lie. Sure, everything is perfect at the start when hormones are running wild and emotions govern you, but that temporary high you get from 'being in love' soon fades into nothingness. You realize that, actually, you don't love this person, the one you promised to love forever. You do something stupid that ends up hurting the one you promised never to hurt. You walk away, even though you promised to never leave.

You may well think that I'm bitter and twisted when it comes to love because I've had my heart broken by some jerk that promised me the world, but I'm not. God, no. Quite the opposite, actually. I've never been 'in love' and if I had my way, I won't ever fall in love. What's the point in loving someone when you know it'll end in disaster? You're setting yourself up for a fall, and when it all goes wrong- because, undoubtedly, it will- you'll try to put the blame on everyone else when, in fact, you are the only one to blame.

Yes, it's your fault you're broken-hearted, sobbing on the floor, with your tattered life in shards around you. Rule number one in life- never let anyone else be the key to your own happiness. When you give that power to someone else, that's it, you're done. So long, independence. Farewell, self-worth. Auf Wiedersehen, respect. There's only one person you can rely on in life, and that is yourself.

A boy can never be relied upon to 'complete' you, and in this day and age why should we expect a man to 'complete' us? Are we somehow 'incomplete' without one? To those of you who say 'yes,' all I can say is that you need to get a decent grip on reality.

My mother- God, love her - is a walking disaster when it comes to love and relationships. Now, she's my mom and I love her very much, but she has zero self-esteem and zero willpower to resist the temptation of men. I guess that goes a long way in explaining her rather colorful dating history. Bill, Ben, Bob, Burt, Bart, Brad, Brik, Brock, Buster, Boris... these aren't their real names, but that's only a snapshot of the men my mom has dated. Please note that I said 'dated' and not 'slept with,' because she still has standards.

It's no secret that I wasn't a planned child, because what sixteen-year-old really plans on getting pregnant on Prom night by a guy that's two years older and college bound? I'm not dissing my parents here. My mom- apart from her back luck in the dating pool- and my dad (yes, the biological one) and I are really close, but I can't help but feel as if they've both missed the Loveboat. Mom always wanted me to have this picture perfect family where there's a mom, a dad and maybe even a puppy. Dad wants the same too, but he's always been wary of introducing random women into my life. So, they date in the hope that they'll one day attain this long-standing dream. They're both, however, chasing a dream that cannot possibly exist in the realms of reality.

Because all-consuming, happily-ever-after love does not exist. Face it people, the sooner you all come to terms with that, the better. If thirty-somethings haven't found it, what chance in Hell do teenagers have? Some days I walk down the hallway and I hear people say 'I love you,' but those are just empty words. Not to mention adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin. Basically, love is a cocktail of lies and chemicals in the brain.

Call me cynical, see if I care. At least I won't be the idiot in six months' time crying because some guy screwed me over.