Eclipsed Star

Chapter Fifteen

JAKE POV 

I leaned into Roman, breathing in the warmth of his scent as we headed inside again. Eventually, I got my breath back as I lay on the couch. Roman sat beside me, staying quiet and I knew, questions were whirled around inside his head. All of them fully unanswered, because I'd kept it to myself. My head rested against his chest as I closed my eyes. His arm wrapped around my shoulders. His hand found my own.

I blindly stared at the fire's dulling flame licking around the wood inside the fireplace. I usually built the fires and left dad to keep them alive until we were going out. He'd then let the flame die down until we returned home. At least the house was warm.

"I'm sorry," I whispered huskily, squeezing his fingers. "This wasn't what I had planned."

"Sorry for what?"

"That just then and keeping secrets," I breathed. "I don't want to keep them. It's just..." I shook my head.

"Then don't." Roman fell silent for an agonizingly long moment. "I need to know Jake... I'm going crazy not knowing what's going on with you." The tip of his thumb ran the length of my face. His arms encased me tightly.

I shook my head again, trying to find any excuse not to tell him. The best I could come up with was, "I don't know where to start."

"Tell me why you were in the hospital. It's okay. I won't run. As long as you're okay, I can take it."

"That's just the thing ... I don't know that either."

"I still want to know."

I shifted to lay back against the armrest. He lay beside me, his eyes staring at me, waiting. As I stared at the ceiling, it was like watching it all over again, like I was there reliving every detail I'd rather erase from my memory.

A whole ten years of my life was basically wasted. I wasn't going to give another ten either. I couldn't. Inside my chest, my heart clenched with fear of the future and past. My hands were shaking again. At the back of my throat I could feel my breath catching. But then I thought ... Roman was the best thing to have happened to me since then.

I felt Roman's fingertips graze the skin of my cheek. When I looked up to him, I saw watery spots on his fingers. I hadn't realised I was crying. His arms around me tightened as he kissed my jaw. I wanted to tuck my head against his neck, under his chin and just be held until it came time to go, but I didn't want to come off as a complete wimp.

I took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. I hadn't ever fully recalled this story, let alone its details. When I was younger and in the hospital, dad usually did it for me.

"It started with the car crash. Mom hit a deer and it went through the windshield. I was in the front seat. Dad said the police report said she swerved so it meant me and my sisters lived-if she'd turned the other way she would be alive today but I wouldn't be." I sighed, shaking my head. "Sometimes I wish she had."

"Jake..." Roman whispered. His arm tightened. "Don't say that."

I shook my head and ignored him. "I had broken ribs, cuts and gashes ... I was in ICU for a month with Rachel, but it was a week or so after the crash before the doctors realized I wasn't healing like my sisters. They did some tests and found animal blood in my system. From the deer's blood mixing with mine, I'd contracted Kyanditis. It's an extremely rare blood disease that brings down the immunity to the point a tiny cold a baby could get over could mean the end for me. Before me, there were only three known cases in the US ... none cured. I hardly got to see anyone-they weren't allowed in case I caught something else.

"I was basically a guinea pig for eight years, daily blood tests, X-rays, cat-scans, dye tests, anything and everything that'd give them ideas of how it worked or if it showed up in any part of my body apart from in blood. The IVs were the worst. Every treatment I had was on trial in case they were possible cures. All the while I was pumped with antibiotics and medicines just so I could get through one sickness after the other. Then one day a blood-test came back favourable, so after a month they sent me home on trial to see if it kept working.