RANDOM

666f

Another day passed nd i didnt talk to anybody i remained silent all day .. it's the 9th if my calculating is right .. is this the death of me or the end ? Am i ending my life crying on uzi xo tour life ? Well i've done that twice before ... one when i was high af and the second when i was sober nd i can assume that i cried harder that second time .. i rlly felt it when he said all my friendz r dead .. even my imaginary one died cuz i have no imagination left in my mind .. it's all mj nd problms .. a shit ton of them ... but it comes down to my dignity cuz i refused to get back with my only friends cuz they left me ... who's fault now ? Who should i blame now ? My ego that eatin every cell left in me or them? Do i look like i have an ego tho ? Its not ego but revenge nd im a rlly good one at taking revenge but i only took revenge of myself now ? Look at my eyes, they bright cuz the flame left in my blunt didnt leave me yet but sure it will cuz dude is rlly worthless .. not worth every friend he had so they gone  , not worth every penny his family gave him so they r gone on cigarettes , not worth his gf so they on the way of splitting ... so is it ego , dignity , revenge lr me in general ?? Someone gotta answer me nd it better be mj cuz i rlly miss that fucker as if i didnt talk to for 2years .. uk wut the worst thing that can happen to me ? Living another day watching my friendship turning slowly to ashes then dissappearing or LIVING  another day in general but all these problems with my teachers nd my parents r not affecting me even a bit
Damn i just wanna get wasted nd listen to lana again nd again nd again till i get unconscious and sleep hoping that i wont wake up anymore ... man i thought i was rlly solid that i can take all these problems nd inhale them as i used to do all these years but fuuck i need me some friends , smthng to fill my day up or fill up my cup otherwise m coolin like m mac miller , NIGGA U LYIN MAC MILLER WAS DEPRESSED FOR MANY YEARS I THINK ... i wanna think cigarettes nd weed that keep me calm nd strong or i would be cryin rivers or cutting again ... gimme a xan ... not about friends again .. its about me being depressed again