Love & War | Brad Simpson ✔️

41. "Show me how much you've missed me"

After a long, long day spent bridesmaid dress shopping with my mother and Brittany - not my first choice of how I would like to have spent the first 24 hours of my nineteenth year - I'm driving myself and Gemma down to London. She's managed to get a few days off work so that she can keep me company for the few days that the boys are away.

"So Tris isn't letting you keep the car?"

"No" I sigh.

"Shame, it's so pretty" she hums, dragging her finger over the leather interior, "so how's nineteen treating you?"

"Same as eighteen"

"You know, I think nineteen will be the Year of Ella"

"The Year of Ella?" I snort.

"Uh-huh," she nods enthusiastically, "you're starting off the nineteenth year of your life driving a BMW, living the high life in London with your celebrity brother and a sexy older man on your arm"

"That is the most rose-tinted interpretation of my life you could have come up with" I chuckle, "you missed out the fact that I'm unemployed, probably rejected from my university of choice and lying to my brother about the fact that I'm sleeping with his best mate"

"Who is a sexy older man" she adds, making me roll my eyes, though I'm sure Brad would love that label.

When we reach the flat after the long drive to London, Gemma and I spend the rest of the night watching television and stuffing our faces with chocolate until we feel too sick to eat anymore. Then we drag ourselves to my bed where we fall asleep watching reruns of Family Guy on the television in my room.

I wake up what I estimate a couple of hours later and the first thing that comes to my groggy mind is that there's a presence in my bed behind me. I assume it's Gemma but then my eyes focus on her sleeping form in front of me and my heart starts to race. In my peripheral vision, I see a dark form, a shadow, shifting across my room and it feels like there's something heavy sat on my chest, pushing down harder and harder with each second.

I know straight away that it's just my sleep paralysis and my mind is simply hallucinating things. I always know now. It certainly doesn't get any less terrifying though, especially when my heart is beating furiously in my chest and my body refuses to move.

After what feels like hours of trying but is probably just a couple of minutes, I'm finally able to wiggle my finger, and then my hand, and the rest of my body follows. I bolt upright, gasping for air and coughing when I breathe in a little too much.

"Hey" I hear, and glance over to see Gemma pushing herself up into a sitting position beside me, "you alright?"

"Yeah" I groan, placing my hand over my chest, feeling my heart still hammering away beneath my fingertips though starting to slow down gradually, "just sleep paralysis"

"What happened?"

"You don't wanna know" I say, letting out a small laugh. Telling Gemma about shadow figures in my room will almost certainly result in her not sleeping for the rest of the night.

"You're okay though?" She asks in a concerned tone, placing her hand on my arm.

"Yeah" I sigh, pulling the covers from my body, "I'm gonna go watch telly or something for a bit"

She nods, knowing I can never get back to sleep after an episode, and I climb out of the bed, grabbing my phone and quietly slipping out of the room to let her get back to her slumber. I start to make my way to the living room and then change my mind as I pass Brad's bedroom door.

He's not here to comfort me but I'm sure his bed can.

His smell hits me as I open door and I instantly feeling calmer. How can he do that without even being here? I flick the light on and shut the door behind me, eyeing one of his Stussy t-shirts thrown over his desk chair. I make a beeline for it, quickly discarding the pyjamas that I'm wearing and swapping them for the t-shirt. I notice his iPad is laying on the desk so I pick it up and then get myself comfy under his duvet.