Love & War | Brad Simpson ✔️

44. "Shit."

If you're sick of Ella being an idiot then you've come to the right place, no need to thank me. Though I make no apologies for the cliffhanger.

Unsurprisingly, I wake up with a hangover.

The gig was so good last night and we were pretty close to the front of the stage. However, I had a few more drinks and though it probably made me enjoy myself even more last night, I'm not enjoying the banging in my head this morning.

The flat is quiet when I wake because I'm alone. The boys have a gig today, the same one that Brad's family are apparently attending, and they presumably left before I woke up.

When I go into the kitchen, I notice a piece of paper left on the counter and a few twenty-pound notes stacked on top of it. I pick the paper up and recognise my brother's handwriting scrawled across it.

We're having a gathering tonight after the gig, do me a favour and buy some alcohol with the money I've left and get whatever else you want with what's leftover :)

I count the notes and raise my eyebrows. There is no need to spend that much on alcohol.

As I'm sat at the kitchen island. wallowing in self-pity and waiting for the Ibuprofen to kick in, I decide that I need to stop drinking so much when I go out. Or maybe just in general.

In fact, I need to stop being so... Ella. And I need to stop being so selfish.

It's time to change. It's time to grow the fuck up. It's time for Ella Evans to stop moping around like a little bitch and immaturely avoiding her boyfriend.

It's also time for her to stop talking in the third person.

I'm going to apologise to Brad for being a stubborn cow and for being selfish. And Brad and I are going to tell Tris about us. And he's going to have to deal with it in whatever way he sees fit.

I start by heading into town and buying a few things that I need from the supermarket. Alcohol. Plastic cups for the alcohol. Three packets of gummy bears. A bag of oranges. Oh, and ingredients to bake a cake.

I find a shop that develops photographs and the kind lady behind the counter helps me print out a photo from my phone. It's a selfie of Brad and I that he took on our first date to the skate park, with my arms looped around his neck and his lips pressed to my cheek. She helps me pick out a nice frame and places the picture inside for me.

I also walk past a tattoo and piercing shop and spontaneously decide that I'm going to get a nose piercing. Well, not really 'spontaneously' as such; I'd been deliberating about getting one for a while but what better day to do it than the first day of the New Ella. The man at the front desk is really helpful and within a few minutes, I have a silver stud in my right nostril. It's throbbing wildly and the skin surrounding it is flaming red but it's so worth it because it looks sick.

When I get back to our apartment block, I make a stop at the pigeonhole in the lobby to check the mail. There are three items in there, the first I assume is a bill because it's addressed to Tris and the second is a flyer for a nearby Indian takeaway. When I look at the last one and see the University of the Arts London logo in the bottom corner of the envelope, my stomach drops. I don't have to check to know it's quite obviously addressed to me.

When I get inside the flat, I physically place the unopened letter on the coffee table and figuratively push it to the back of my mind. I don't want to think about the contents of that letter. Tonight, I'll enjoy the party and read it tomorrow when I'm already feeling shitty due to the inevitable hangover. If I've got it in, it'll make me feel better and if I haven't, I can't feel any worse.