Running Away From a Past Life

Chapter 4

“I just wanna go home.” I said after a few minutes of silence.

“Ok, I’ll drive you. Can you walk or…?”

“Yeah, I can walk just fine, I just have a massive headache and my face feels like it’s on fire.” Ian and I left the party without much attention; I’ll text the girls later to let them know I came home. Eventually they’ll see my face, and I don’t know what to tell anyone yet. Aunt Liz was already in bed by the time I got back home.

“Ian, would you mind…um…staying here maybe just for a while?” I asked while I nervously fidgeted. I still can’t completely figure out why, but Ian brings me comfort, and there’s no way I’m sleeping tonight.

“Of course! I won’t leave until you say so.” He said softly.

I grabbed an ice pack from the freezer then led Ian up to my room. Even though I wanted to stay up and not face the inevitable nightmares, I ended up falling asleep next to Ian while we were sitting on my bed watching TV on the small TV that I put in my room on my nightstand. I woke up at about 4 in the morning breathing hard. Another nightmare. Mom and Dad are gone Ashley, I mentally told myself, I just need to stop thinking about them, I’ve moved on in life. Then it hit me, Ian was gone. I jumped up and started to run downstairs and almost ran into him as he came up the stairs.

“Woah! I thought you were asleep, I’m sorry.” He said, surprised.

“Oh no, don’t be. I just woke up because of nightmares and I thought you had…”

“Ashley, I told you I was here until you told me to go.” Ian said with a reassuring smile, although I could still see the pain in his eyes from what he witnessed at the party. He must’ve been able to tell that I was reading his face because his mood changed again. “I will never forgive myself for not being able to stop Luke from doing….this,” he motioned to my face, “to you. And I can’t even bear to think about what he was about to do.” Ian looked at the floor.

“Ian, I still don’t understand why you’re holding this on yourself.” My next move was a tad bit unplanned. I leaned up and lightly kissed Ian, careful to avoid too much pressure on either of our wounds.

Ian slept over, the rest of my night went dreamless, or rather nightmare-less. Fortunately for us, Aunt Liz had to leave early for work so by the time I woke up, she was gone. My head was pounding and my hair felt like a mess. Ian was still sleeping, I briefly remember him being awake a while after I fell asleep leaning against him. I walked to my bathroom and looked in the mirror. I looked like a train wreck. Hair all over, makeup smeared everywhere, and bruises galore. I had a red mark across my cheekbone, a black and purple eye, and a fat lip. I decided it’d be best to just take a hot shower, and afterwards brushed my teeth. When I came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, Ian was sitting up on my bed watching TV again. He blushed and quickly looked away when I walked out in just my towel. I said, “Sorry, I assumed you’d still be asleep.” Then he got up and wrapped me in his arms, giving me a heartwarming passionate kiss. My knees almost gave out from the emotion behind the kiss. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt out of my dresser and walked back into the bathroom to change and brush my hair down. I stood there for a while observing my puffy eye and abused face. Ian walked in and hugged me around the waist, also facing into the mirror. The sight of this was so amazing, it could’ve killed me right then and there. Then he whispered in my ear, “You’re beautiful to me no matter what.”

I teared up, and Ian seemed worried, so I had to explain that I wasn’t sad or upset, just overwhelmed, but happy. Ian grabbed my hand into his, then kissed it and asked what I wanted to do since it was Saturday afternoon. I didn’t really want to go out, for a couple of reasons. One, my face was a bit hard to not notice, and two, after last night I just kind of wanted to stay in my own home. Ian and I ended up going downstairs and watching movies on the big screen in the living room. I didn’t think I was tired at all, but during one of the movies I fell asleep leaning against Ian’s shoulder, this time however, the nightmares returned.

(Nightmare) Dad was beating mom even harder than usual that night. Dad no longer made advances toward me, now that I’d gotten older and could stick up for myself more. But he would come home everyday more and more pissed off and he always took it out on mom. Sometimes I would be in the way when he got home and he’d shove me back, and on a few occasions slapped me and told me to do something useful around the house. Mom would cry and tell me it was all ok. I would always get so mad at her for letting this all happen for so long. I’ll never forget that night. Dad fell asleep drunk on the couch and I told mom to pack a bag full of clothes and any money around the house because we were leaving. How could she refuse!? I was just trying to help her! I was so mad, I didn’t know what to do! The orange glow of the flames engulfed everything.

The scream woke me up. Only to realize it was my own. Ian had a panic-stricken look on his face and his entire body was tense as he started to grab me looking around for potential danger.