Running Away From a Past Life

Chapter 5

Before he could say anything I told him I was having a really bad nightmare. He then asked, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to…but what have all of these nightmares lately been about?”

“You remember, back in juvie, when I told you that I was involved with someone’s house getting burned down?”

“Yeah. I assumed it was a wrong place at the wrong time scenario?”

“Well, it was my parents’ house…” I began. I explained everything, how my dad tried to rape me on a daily basis, but I would fight him and he’d end up getting mad and beating the day lights out of my mother as punishment to make me feel bad. How I would sneak out almost every night and go to parties with my so called friends, and how I got mixed in with a bad crowd of people. How my mother would just let it happen. How I tried to get her to leave with me, and how she refused to leave my dad.

“One night, my dad beat mom so badly that she had to go to the hospital, she had two broken ribs, and one of them had punctured her lung, making it collapse. They couldn’t save her at the hospital… My dad played it out like she had fallen down the stairs, and those damn cops actually believed it. He told me he’d kill me if I told of the years of abuse, so I kept quiet. I’ll forever regret not saying anything to the police. I got so mad at my dad for..…for killing her. I stormed out of the house one night, when my dad was passed out drunk on the couch. I called up my friends and asked if they knew of any parties, I had turned to partying and getting drunk to cope with the loss of my mom, and to stay away from dad. We got really drunk, and I started telling them about how awful my life was, and they jokingly said to just kill the bastard. I secretly thought of it as a good option. He was a horrible person, a drunk, a murderer. After the party, we all split up and went home. Dad was still passed out on the couch; the only difference was that there were several more liquor bottles lying on the floor next to him. The idea that my friends had given me kept playing through my mind again and again. All of a sudden I was lighting matches and setting the curtains on fire and grabbing a few things from my room and going to my friend’s house to crash. The police showed up in the morning and told me that my dad was killed in a fire. From then on my life pretty much made no sense. I was drinking and partying all the time, driving around town drunk with my friends, and I even started to get into drugs with them. Rumors spread around my old school that I was a slut, a druggie, worthless and pathetic. My life had pretty much hit rock bottom, my mom was gone forever, and I killed my own father. One day, the day that I was sentenced to spend a little time in juvie, my friends and I were all hanging out at this girl’s house, where I had been staying since I had no home, and one of the girls brought a bunch of drugs that she had just bought from some dealer. I didn’t do any that day, I wanted to be done with them, but the cops busted her house and I was taken to court with the rest of them for possession. Aunt Liz became my legal guardian as soon as I got out of juvie, and now here I am, running away from my past life.”

Ian held me tight, even though I didn’t feel I deserved to be. “Ash, we all make mistakes. You just tried to protect your mother, and then took a harsh path-”

“I could’ve tried harder to get my mom to leave, maybe she’d still be here! Even worse, I could’ve stopped sneaking out and partying…and I maybe I wouldn’t have burned my own house down with my dad inside.” I blurted out almost incoherently.

Ian just hushed me and grabbed me against my will until I had cried myself out. After a few hours of nothing but crying and apologizing, I couldn’t cry anymore, there were no more tears left, and my entire body was basically numb. I had told myself that I would move on and never think of that horrible night again, but I did. Now I was going to go back to my new life, and live with what I have now. It was about time that Aunt Liz would be getting back from work, so I left a note on the counter saying that I was spending the night at a girlfriend’s house. I went back to Ian’s house. His parents had just left the day before for a weeklong vacation, fortunate for us. Ian had a big house, not nearly as big as Lauren’s house, but it was definitely nice. Ian cheered me up by making a huge bowl of popcorn and grabbing a stack of comedies from their movie shelf. We stayed up really late watching movies and laughing together. At almost 3 in the morning I started dozing off on his couch, and he carried me up to his room and laid me on his huge bed. I fell asleep almost instantly on the softness of Ian’s bed, and he curled up next to me on the other side and fell asleep with his arm around me. That was easily the best night’s sleep I’d ever gotten, even after embracing my messed up past earlier in the day. I slept in until around 1:30pm. I woke up to Ian staring at me.

“Good afternoon!” He exclaimed.

Ian had already showered and dressed, although he was wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants, and his hair was still slightly wet and sticking out in various sexy ways. I’d never really seen this much of Ian’s body before; he was even more gorgeous than I thought. He had a light 6-pack going on, and his chest and shoulders looked so strong. I’d noticed before that he had muscular arms, but it was even clearer now with him being shirtless. He noticed me ogling at him and gave me this adorable crooked grin, which halfway revealed his perfect teeth. My mind exploded and I’m pretty sure my heart melted. We spent the day just talking and kissing and sharing hilarious jokes.