Mad World

Just a Little Late pt.1

"Well Facebook, what do you have for me today?" I say sarcastically as I grab my phone and crawl into my bed.

I have 32 notifications, crazy right? No.

I'm GLAD you moved bitch!

Don't even think about coming back here! I'll make your life a living hell.

It probably seems crazy that people would say things like that to me over social media, huh. But no, these people give zero fucks. They hate me.

   47 Messages from people telling that they wish I would rot in hell, kill myself, I mean the list just goes on.

  A couple tears roll down my face. I get up and walk into my bathroom.

   "Just a couple more to my collection," I whisper reaching for my razor.

   I slide it across my wrist. The blood slowly trickled out.

   I sniffle and wipe at my nose.

   Once more I slide the pink tool across my wrist.

   I run water over my wrist then grab a white wash cloth and apply it to my wrist with firm pressure.

   "Rae!"

  I jump. I quickly throw the towel under the sink.

I pull down my sleeve and open the door.

"Yes?"

It's Colson.

"Look, I'm sorry about getting you grounded. I just don't like seeing you do this to yourself. I'm sorry about the things I said. I was just angry-"

   I hold my hand up, "You have no concern in my life anymore, Colson. When you left for your career and never called, you left my life. And FYI, I honestly could care less if I'm grounded or not."

   I push past him and he goes into the bathroom, slamming the door.

   I hear him turn on the sink.

   I go up to my room and check on my napping Cayden.

   It still bugs the absolute shit out of me that Colson doesn't know he's his. And in all honesty, he'll probably never know because he's leaving again next week for a year to tour Europe.

    I sit in my floor and pull my portfolio out from under the bed.

   I'm flipping through my art work when an angry Colson storms in.

   "What the fuck is this Rae?" He asks holding up the little white wash cloth, freshly drenched in blood.

    "I was shaving my legs and cut myself on accident," I lie through my teeth.

   "Bullshit, no little razor nick bleed this fucking much," he was walking towards me.

    He sits down next to me on the floor.

    "Let me see your arm," he says seriously.

   I smile and go to show him my left arm. He stops me.

   "Your right arm," he demands.

   He jerks my right arm up and pulls my sleeve back.

    His stone cold eyes melt into pools of blue.

   "You're still doing this shit?" He almost whispers. He remembers.

   I jerk my arm away, "Why do you care Colson? Seriously. You're really starting to bug me; acting like my father and shit."

    "Because RaeLynn, I cared about you and I will always care to a certain extent for you. You gotta stop this shit."

   "Ok, I'll stop," I say.

   He looks at me disbelievingly, "Mean it."

   "Colson you don't understand. I can't just fucking quit."

   "Why? It's not like an addiction to drugs! This is stupid shit, you harming yourself! What's the point? If you're that fucking depressed and suicidal just fucking kill yourself and if you don't you're just fishing for attention!"

   I stare at him.

"You don't understand," I whisper. I get up because Cayden is awake due to Colson's yelling.

   I leave my room and head I tot he upstairs kitchen.

   "Im sorry baby," I coo at him, "I'm sorry your daddy will never know you. Especially when you're right under his nose."

   "What?" Colson asks walking out of my room, my portfolio in his hands.

   "What?" I ask be sure what to say.

   "Nothing I thought you were mouthing something," Colson says walking off to his room.

    That was close. I don't want Colson to ever find out.

Colson's P.O.V

I get into my room and shut the door. I heard what she whispered to Cayden perfectly fine, but what she said wasn't a surprise. I already knew Cayden was mine.

   Her dad told me when I first got here by accident. He told me not to say anything to RaeLynn.

   I open up her portfolio and flip through her work. There is a ton of drawings of Cayden. She captured him perfectly.

He looks so much like me it's crazy.

It's so difficult to see Rae in the condition she's in.

When I left her for my first tour, she was the exact same way. Always hurting herself. Apparently things just got completely worse.

    I was always, somehow late with being in the 'know' about her cutting. Or when she was rushed to the hospital a long time ago, I was a little late.

   Her mom never liked me and she always tried to keep me or of Rae's life. Always making me a little late.

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So I definitely haven't updated this story in a very longtime so here's a short chapter(: