The Traveling Girl

Travels To Aruba

I woke up at 3am to leave, YEAH I SAID THREE AM! It pays off since our pilot from Milwaukee to Chicago was super cute. Now I'm currently on a flight from Chicago to Aruba and I really have to fart. You know, sorry people around me, but I'm letting this one go. Our drink server totally has the eyes for me too. I was staring off in the distance and he thought I watching a movie. So he stops what he's doing and tries to ask what the movie is and talk to me. Keep in mind I have a blank seat between my dad and I, doesn't seem like my father is my father here. He feels free to start leaning over my father and ignoring everyone else to share words with me. Like bro, I'm not even wearing makeup. Chill out.

I do however have a boyfriend. He's at bible camp while him and his friends are messing with girls this weekend. I also completely dissed him for when he went in for my first kiss. I worked for the play and I'm in control of overall makeup checks and hard detail work. So I'm very proud and invested in my work. Him and his family went to see the play. Symon and I sat in the very back so I had easy access to the door for makeup check and fixes. However, being right next to the door and in the back, it meant no one can see us and no one can hear us. While we were watching, the curtain closes and lights turn off for a scene change. I look over at him, he leans in, I look forward. He rotates me to look at him as he goes to lean in again, I look forward and reject him. Yeah, why did I reject my boyfriend the day before I leave for vacation? I HAVE NO CLUE. My mind just went into overload and blew up. Like the kind of blow up where brain matter is scattered across the room.

This morning I woke up and texted him as my last and final text before I leave. Here it is if you want to read it. Fyi we split up once before, we both changed and went through hell while we had split. We had to use boats to carry ourselves across the rivers we cried. Drama happened, I got scared, I was scared of the truth, and stopped talking to him so I don't have to see the love of my life mad at me. Out relationship flourished now, the beautiful part is that he loved me all along. He never gave up.
"Symon, I know it's only going to be a week and one day, but I'll miss you a lot. I also know you might not be up right now. But I love you so much. This trip in a way will feel like an eternity in the devils world. Honestly I'm crying writing this because it feels like we are being split up again. I want to make sure you know I love you and that you promise you won't do anything too stupid because I'm not around to see it. Promise me? Keep an eye on Aleena because I know I can't right now, we got into a fight earlier in the night. Tell her I said I love her too, please for me. I will miss you the most though. Even my own mother doesn't say goodbye to me. You mean the most to me. I love you, I'll miss you, and I'll see you soon enough."

Yes, the night before I left my mother and I got into a fight. There was a rumor of me killing my self. A parent found out and texted my mother. It was because my best friend snitched about a rumor. Got my butt in trouble and my mom and I screaming at each other in a McDonald's parking lot. Not only was the fight with my mother, it was with my best friends, Aleena and Ariana. It's safe to say Aleena and I no longer are friends along with Ariana, the girl who snitched. Aleena had agreed with Ariana snitching. The thing is, telling someone about being sad makes it only worse. The parent will try and help. I'm sorry but depression doesn't have an actual cure. Anyways, my parents won't spend money on drugs to suppress my feelings. They think depression is fake, that I'm just making it up. I have bounced from therapist to therapist. Never working. My dad still rubs it in my face how therapists are "fake". THEY ARE NOT.

When I arrive to Aruba (like three more hours) I look forward to wearing my cute outfits. I look forward to waking up, doing yoga outside, and making instagram styled posses. This will be fun. It's really well needed.