SUBMIT✔ (DSD SERIES, BOOK TWO) WATTYS2020

Right here in my arms

Enoy

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I lay in my bed, my heart hurting as the memories of that day replay in my head.

Dr Monroe had left a little after 8 in the night and we'd talk about that day. He took me through it phase by phase trying to show that I'm not responsible for my baby's death.

I'd listen to each of his interpretations and suggestions on how to cope with the fact that what happened happen and how I shouldn't let it dictate my life. I tried I really did but deep down I can't help but feel like I killed my child.

When my dad had suggested I have an abortion I should have fought him, ran away or even report Liam but I couldn't. I was daddy's little girl, I worshipped him and I always tried to please him because he was the only true family I had left.

Or so I thought.

My mom was taken from me and I didn't want to lose my dad. I couldn't it would have broken me. Ironically though it didn't break me he did.

"Sun goes down and we are here together." She sings as she places the cotton sheets over my small chubby body.

"Fireflies glow like a thousand charms." I continue my voice squeaky and high as I reach out my hand to hold her slender fingers.

"Stay with me and you can dream forever." She smiles her hazel eyes wrinkling at the action as she squeezes my short, thick fingers.

"Right here in my arms tonight." I say as I beckon for her to lay beside me. "Can you stay with me until I'm asleep mommy?"

My mother smiles before raising from her seat, she winks with a playful smile and before I know it she pounces on me tickling my tummy.

"Mommy stop!" I giggle as I kick and thrash beneath her wiggling fingers.

She laughs and my heart warms at the look on her face. Mommy had always had a beautiful smile, a smile that made you believe everything could be alright even if it wasn't.

"Okay my firefly," my mom says as she jumps on my bed pulling me to her slender frame.

I rest my head on her soft breasts and wrap my arms around her waist. Her arms cradle me and I pop my chin on her breast as I stare into her beautiful eyes.

"You're smaller mommy," I say as I ran my arms along her sides. I pull myself up so I'm straddling her tummy and stare. "Why are you getting smaller mommy?"

She looks up at me a little shock before smiling and placing her hands on my waist. "Mommy's just a little tired so she's losing weight."

"Is it because daddy's not feeding you?"

She looks dumbfounded as I say that and a look of pure horror soon takes over her face.

"How – who told you that?" She asks her voice small.

"I couldn't sleep and I was coming to sleep with you guys when I heard shouting. Daddy was saying you're useless so why should he feed or take care of you. Mommy he said you couldn't even do the thing you were made for... What does that mean?" I say as small tears start to stream from my eyes. "Doesn't daddy love you? Why would he say those things?"

She sits up abruptly cradling my body against her torso as I sob against her chest. She rocks me back and forth hushing me as I try to stop the tears.

"Your daddy didn't mean all those things he said firefly. He was just angry, he has been working hard and he gets tired so sometimes he says things he doesn't mean."