Why am I always so fucking alone? I always push people away so much and act like I don't care. I truly do care though and I really do need company. I need so much company that I feel like I become a burden because of it. Most of my friends have better friends and even my boyfriend hangs out with others more. I never hold it against them though because I can't ever keep a conversation going or so it seems. Truly I am just to stupid to probably have conversations though. It is always usually the same subjects, same everything. I probably don't care because my mind might be shutting down because of all my dumb thoughts and emotions could take over and kill me quickly. Another reason why I am sucidal probably too. The thoughts might take over for a bit and start making me think those things. I really wish I wasn't though. Might make me less of a whinning and needy bitch.
Truly I just want to talk to someone most of the time. It would make me so much happier to know that i'm not alone as much as I think. I mean physically I might not be alone but mentally i always am. It is always dark in my head and never can I sense someone's presence. Truly it just gets sad how much I can't feel. How much I wish to feel. How much I need to feel.
YOU ARE READING
Keith's diary ish
De Todosort of where I probably will write about my life. prepare that tissue box or to clap your hands. or just sit there and wonder what made you even start reading this.
