Where Lust Lies

The aftermath

I cheated I was completely sober and I opened my legs for somebody that wasn't you I cheated, why? Because I knew that because you love me you wouldn't leave I knew I could. Because you told me you loved me and because you did I took you for granted. We should've lasted but I let them in, legs behind my head making love in and on your side of our bed. Ha it was good. He had me in every position you thought you could, they took me to new heights you wish you could. And I enjoyed every kiss every lick every touch I felt nothing there was no thoughts of us or you just them and me. The tides were so heavy in my sea. I have an addiction you can't fix me I crave for pain. touching myself in every way. What am I feeling for? What am I feening for? I feen for a place to store my pain, the pain I crave I get filled twice a week by him sometimes more if Im stressed it would be until he takes it away he enters me slowly then all at once. I don't remember your touch when he's in between my thighs I can't make love to you if, I ever did I'd be thinking of him while laying with you. I can't hurt you like that. I've looked in your eyes I see you so I close mines. I don't want the guilt to overtake me. I should've been honest but I want the best of both worlds. I want to have the tall dark and handsome his body his thick strong length fills me. I love his body how he touch me how the only thing we have in common is sex and knowing how to please each other. I don't have to be perfect with him. I don't have to open up or feel or care all he wants and crave is my juices. I quince his thirst as he always tell me, with you my love my husband you and I can never make love like that because I'm only attracted to you as a friend. I planned to marry you because you can give me the future I want but I risked that all every time for the sex I need. Forgive me.