Where Lust Lies

The Beginning

I was third year college undergrad attendee, majoring in Criminology, at the height of my life everything was great my skin was glowing, my hair was growing so long and thick, I was at the top of my class, my internship was going great and I had the best boyfriend ever. I knew I had everything a girl could dream of, still that was not enough. My boyfriend five feet seven inches of a man cut from the richest and darkest chocolate ever created. The whitest of white teeth. Those dreamy copper eyes. I loved my boyfriend. He loved me more. Nathaniel Jackson was a forensic psychology major, an honors student, and the best lineman. He always said that he only played football for fun and he never wanted to pursue a career in pro football. I respected him for that and many other things. My Nathaniel was a soft teddy bear to only me, his queen. He would spoil me and help me study and go to court sit ins with me. once we had graduated, we talked about moving to Cali to attend college which so happens to be both our dream college. However, because I was a third year undergrad and he's near completion, I didn't want him to wait on me even though he said he would and just work the two years to make a comfortable home for us in Cali. I tried to change his mind plenty times but he's headstrong. I love that about him. With everything going good in my life something was still missing. It was like I was empty. Sexually I have a problem. I have these fantasies about being overpowered by someone with caramelized vanilla skin, six feet three inches with the softest hazel eyes and the body of a God and the sexiest waves a man could ever have. I find myself in the same dream often. He's sweeping me off my feet roughly legs locked around his waist, pinning me to the wall arms above my head he's undressing me so gracefully, effortlessly. It takes no time for him to snake inside me filling me completely I can't gasp for air because his hand is around my neck he's kissing on my chest. I flood for him. With my body still attached to him, he lays me on my couch. We're in my office this is where I come from behind my desk to sit with clients and make them feel like we're one in the same. He's so strong he holds me in place while he races to the depths of my sea. We release together I feel what's left of him in me all warm and creamy. I will feel it later but now he's hungry and I can never stop him from eating. I can never talk to him or touch him in ways he touch me or at all for that matter he's here to please me. I can't help but scream she's swollen and I can't take anymore but he's determined. My back is arched, toes pointed, body shaking I beg and plead for him to stop teasing and release me. He looks up at me he is so beautiful face glistening from my wetness. You know that look he gives you right before he too releases kinda like we both know that we're at each other's mercy I'm hooked on him and right when I start to open up and she unfold and all of her colors of white gold and milk explodes he slides back in for more. Honestly I could dream forever. However, I totally just missed the debate and I didn't take notes plus my cheesy boyfriend is waiting for me because everyday he takes me out for lunch. I used to feel bad about my fantasies, but I never cheated physically. My Nathaniel doesn't know the freaky things I think about because they never include him. This was not his fault. My man is perfect in every way. It is me who can't keep my thoughts off other people and their penises. I can't tell him while we touch my mind wonders. I tried to get him to become more open to different places and positions. There's only so much I'm allowed to do to him like he wants us to just have missionary sex while he's always on top. "He's a God fearing man." We waited a whole eight months before he touched me. Granted I was a virgin so yea.... He said he had to go to God for permission. I understood him I too was raised in the church, but I could've skipped the waiting part honestly for me his sex isn't all that great he cried while we were "making love" the first time. I didn't know how to feel but after we finished he held me all night. I enjoyed that more than the sex.
- I brought it up again, today over lunch. I asked him if we could spice things up a bit like foreplay and maybe I could be tied up or maybe he could be rough. You know dominate me completely. He became kinda irritated. He made a face that told me, I just ruined his lunch and for the hundredth time the answer is still no. He asks me, "kye, why must I handle you roughly? Why do you want to be tied down? Why do you insist that I inflict pain upon you in the time of pleasure and making love? Why do you want me to treat you like a sex slave and make you my property?" I couldn't answer him instead I looked up and damn near died because my dream guy is here sitting at the bar undressing me with his eyes from across the room. My eyes fixated on him I was in a trance my mind is racing I'm stuttering and shaking. I feel my juices flow I have to get out of here. Nathaniel had placed his hand on mines to stop my nails from tapping the table he hated that but he knows it happens only when I'm nervous. "Kyomi are you okay baby?" No I'm not okay but I know if I stand up now my infidelities will be revealed. So I tell him that I'm having a really bad migraine and I'm gonna head back to home to lie down before my next class as soon as I stand I realize we didn't meet here I didn't drive my car but I rode with him. I'm now feeling my juices trickle down my legs my skirt is hugging me just right. My dream man is taunting me he's so seductive my body is caught in his trance I can't move my legs to bolt out the door because I know if I took one step I'd be walking away from the man I love to the man I lust for. Nathaniel stands after paying the tab and placing one hand on my lower back and ushers me out the door to his car opening the door for me I get in and as he walks around to the drivers side I look up once more to find my dream man has disappeared. Before pulling off Nathaniel looks at me and I didn't make eye contact so he places his massive hand on my thigh and I cringed because he felt my wetness and said, "Baby If you were needing to be satisfied you could've just told me instead of lying about you having a migraine." He laughs, but I didn't lie my head is pounding and I'm not wanting to be satisfied by him.