Empty Gold • d.meadowes

-19-

The kitchen was in a mess.

The air smelled of egg, yeast and vinegar. There was a thin layer of flour caked on any surface that was exposed to the air, broken egg shells were stacked on the kitchen counter, and an empty bottle lay on its side on the floor, tiny drops of oil visible below its mouth. Bowls were upturned, plates were scattered, and spoons were strewn all around the kitchen, guaranteed to take ages to be found again.

By the table, on two chairs, were sat Dorcas and her mother, their hands covered in a thin film of flour and chocolate. In front of them, on a large tray, lay a cake they had just baked, half of it having been eaten, and the other half calling out to them tantalisingly. Dorcas's hair shook and rippled as the girl roared in laughter, while Jenna attempted to keep a straight face, pretending to act like an adult, though she failed miserably. The corners of her mouth tugged up involuntarily.

"You seriously cannot expect me to believe that, Mum," Dorcas managed to speak between the bouts of laughter that forced themselves out of her mouth. But Jenna insisted, stubbornly, that every word she has uttered was true, though her laughter gave away the truth.

Both mother and daughter being on holiday, they were able to spend some time together without any distraction. It was Dorcas's plan to cook something together, remembering how, as a child, she would walk into the kitchen and ask her mother if she needed any help. She wouldn't take no for an answer, and thus Jenna would have no choice but to hand over a small portion of her work for Dorcas to perform, which she would gladly oblige.

Dorcas was in no way as good a cook as her mother was, but she truly enjoyed the last two hours of their experimenting with cakes and eggs. It was accompanied by stories – Jenna told of her school days, of how a boy completely infatuated with her had humiliated himself on several occasions to get her attention, and Dorcas spoke of her schoolwork, her choir, her friends, and revealed as much as she dared to about the unrest in the wizarding world without freaking her mother out.

Once the cake was fully devoured, they set to clean up the mess they had created. Dorcas would normally feel lazy and would give any excuse to skip the work, but she was enjoying their talks, and realised how much she missed spending time with her mother. Thus, she pulled out her wand and began to sweep away the flours from the table and the counter.

"Are you going to visit your father?" Jenna asked suddenly, to which she nodded in response.

"Yes. Lucas is starting Hogwarts next year. I bought a herbology book for him. He seems very interested in plants."

Jenna hummed and nodded, as she carried the used dishes over to the sink to wash. The smell of eggs still lingered in the air, and as Dorcas passed her hand through her hair, she realised how frizzy it has become, and she could feel the clumps of flour stuck in places. She sighed, figuring that she should have listened to her mother when she had asked her to tie up her hair.

Dorcas went over to the sink to wash the dishes, and her mother watched with a look of wariness as she caused the sponge to move on its own – picking up a small amount of soap and then sliding gently over the surface of the plate, scraping away the bits and pieces of cake while leaving a trail of white lather behind. Her hands remained completely dry.

When Dorcas noticed her mother getting uncomfortable, she hastily grabbed the sponge and the plate and began to scrub on her own. Jenna sighed softly behind her.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, taking off her apron and sitting down on the chair. "I know this – this magic is a part of you. You shouldn't not use it because of me."

"It's okay, Mum," she turned her head slightly and gave her a genuine smile. "I shouldn't get too dependent on magic anyway."

That night, after dinner, they settled down on the living room, soft, thin blankets pulled over them, while they watched TV. Or at least, Jenna watched. Dorcas's mind wandered. Back to Hogwarts. Where her best friends were – she hoped Maeve wouldn't hold her grudge against Silver. It wandered to the radio where she had been offered a job to sing, twice a week – she had written to let them know she would start after her graduation. Whilst she thought McGonagall would allow her to leave the castle twice a week, for an hour at most, she didn't want to add more pressure to her NEWTs. Her mind went to Juliet – wondering what she was doing right now – perhaps completing her homework? Hanging out with her boyfriend, or her friends? It was when the thought of Juliet invaded her mind, she decided to talk to her mother, clear up her confusion.

"Mum," she asked cautiously, sitting up straight. Jenna lowered the volume of the TV and shifted slightly to face her. The blankets moved soundlessly over them, and Dorcas clutched at it for warmth, comfort. "Do you think – do you think that it would be called an infatuation if you're attracted to someone you don't know very well?"

Please say no.

"I think so, yes," she answered after a moment. "But that does not mean it cannot turn into love. Once you get to know the person better."

Dorcas nodded slowly, relief flooding through her. Perhaps her infatuation towards Juliet – if it really was an infatuation – would dissolve slowly, like she believed was happening the more she hung out with the Ravenclaw girl. But then she wondered whether she would be happy to fall in love with someone who might not even in the slightest be interested in her.

"Are we talking about a particular person?" Jenna asked a while later, a knowing tone in her voice.

Dorcas suppressed a sigh. "Yes," she began slowly. "There's a – girl. In Ravenclaw. She is in the choir – she sings beautifully. And I've been hanging out with her quite a lot since the past few months."

Jenna didn't say anything, but waited patiently for her to continue.

"Maeve thinks that I am only infatuated with her, and that I should try to get over her. She thinks that I'm going to end up getting hurt."

Jenna switched off the TV and turned fully to face Dorcas. "What do you think?"

She shrugged. "I think she might be right."

"Have you tried talking to this girl about it?"

Dorcas's head whipped around to look at her mother, her eyes widening in disbelief. During all the times she has spent with Juliet in the library, not once has the thought of opening up to her crossed her mind. Her feelings were like a holy secret to her – meant to be kept concealed from the very person it was about.

"N–no. Should I?" She didn't sound very certain about the idea.

Jenna ran her fingers through her curly hair. "It's up to you. But I think that keeping it a secret is only going to hurt you more. Do you want her to know?"

Dorcas didn't respond.

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how are you guys?

i hope you're not mad at me for taking over a month to update because i totally am 😄