Empty Gold • d.meadowes

-45-

Dorcas returned to Hogwarts two days later.

Her father was genuinely surprised by her decision, and kept insisting that she needn't return if she didn't want to - he was sure McGonagall would let her sit for her NEWTs whenever she was ready. But Dorcas couldn't care less about the NEWTs.

Thus, she found herself back at school soon enough. She had apparated to Hogsmeade accompanied by Robert, and from there she had taken one of the horseless carriages that trundled across the sloping path up towards the Hogwarts castle. It was evening, for she hadn't wanted to arrive in broad daylight, with a hundred people around her. Soon, the carriage stopped as it neared the castle and she quietly slid down, followed by her father.

The oak front doors were open, and she made towards it, but was promptly pulled back by Robert. "Hold on, McGonagall said she'll come to pick you up."

"I don't need picking up," she said irritably.

"Maybe not," Robert hummed. "But she's as worried about you as I am, and she has requested that she be allowed to check on you."

Professor McGonagall didn't take long to appear, bustling hurriedly towards her. Her usual stern face was laced with concern as she passed across the threshold towards her. "Thank you, Robert," she addressed her father. "I'll have her from here."

"Bye, Dad," she said with a small wave and turned her back to him, not waiting for an answer. With a wave of her wand, McGonagall shut the large doors behind them.

"How are you doing, Ms Meadowes?" she asked quietly as they walked across the Entrance Hall.

"Fine. Professor."

"Dinner has just started," she said conversationally. "Would you like to join the others at the Great Hall?"

"No," she said quickly. In fact it was the last thing she wanted. "I'll just return to the Gryffindor tower."

"Very well. I'll ask Ms Burton and Ms Saunders to bring your dinner."

Dorcas didn't really feel like eating anything, but she also wasn't in the mood to argue. Thus, she nodded and parted ways with McGonagall as they reached the entrance to the Great Hall. Through the slit between the doors, she saw the hall filled to the brim with students and teachers, all talking merrily amongst themselves, utterly oblivious to the turmoil going on inside her. She noticed Professor McGonagall heading over towards the Gryffindor table, where she spotted her friends among the crowd of students, and lest they should turn around and see her, Dorcas quickly hurried off towards the Gryffindor tower.

The common room was empty, as expected. She climbed up the stairs to the girl's dormitory, where she found her trunk and belongings in the exact spot she had left them. The last time she was here, she was worrying about her Transfiguration exam, fussing about her appearance, chiding Silver who kept insisting that she would fail all of the exams. It wasn't very long ago, but it seemed to her like ages have passed since then. She felt completely detached from the life before everything was turned upside down.

Dorcas changed into her pyjamas and climbed into bed. McGonagall would want to talk to her tomorrow, she knew it. She wasn't up for talking to any teacher at the moment, but she knew she had no way out. Thus, she began to mentally prepare herself for the conversation they might be having.

The door to the dormitory burst open, and Silver hurried in, followed closely by Maeve, who held a tray in her hands. "McGonagall said you were here," said Silver, smiling slightly as she marched over to her bed, settling herself down near her legs. "How are you, Dorcas?"

She merely shrugged. "Tired."

"Here's your dinner," said Maeve, trying to deposit the tray in her bed, but Dorcas pushed it away.

"I don't want to eat," she said quietly. As much as she had been avoiding social interaction, Dorcas couldn't deny that it felt good to be back with her friends again. Or perhaps it was just the warm embrace of the Hogwarts castle that made her feel welcome.

"Dorcas, you should -" began Maeve, but was cut off as Silver shot her a warning look. "Okay, if you're not hungry..."

She removed the tray and sat down on her own bed, looking like she wanted to say something. She and Silver exchanged furtive glances, and Dorcas knew what they were thinking. They couldn't figure out what to say to her, or what to talk about. Dorcas decided to save them the trouble.

"Well, good night."

Silver leapt up from her bed like she has been burned. "Yes, good night, Dorcas." She hastily pulled the curtains shut around her four-poster bed and withdrew. "Good night, Maeve."

Dorcas let out a long sigh, feeling tears prickling the corners of her eyes all of a sudden. She felt utterly exhausted and worn out, as though she has run a mile. Closing her eyes, she willed herself to fall asleep, which she did soon enough. She fell into a deep comfortable slumber, and what seemed like the first time in a long time she had a completely dreamless sleep, and when she awoke the next day she felt well rested and much much lighter.

The dormitory was empty, and a steady sunlight streamed inside through the windows. Dorcas stretched and yawned, frowning slightly. Why haven't they woken her up?

Before long, she remembered that it was NEWT season; they must have gone off for their exams. Leaning over, she searched her desk until she found her time table; yes, the seventh years were currently sitting for their Herbology exam.

She also found a tray laden with toast and sausages. Silver and Maeve must have brought in her breakfast.

Dorcas flopped back in bed, deciding to remain there a little while longer. But a few minutes later, she got up and got dressed. She didn't want to be among people, and if the fifth and seventh years were in the Great Hall now, she figured it was the best time to leave the Gryffindor tower and stroll around a bit.

She did as planned, and within a few minutes, she was walking quietly through the corridors, nibbling on a piece of toast. The castle wasn't empty, but she was saved a lot of stares given that a large portion of the castle was now stuck inside the Great Hall.

Dorcas found a spot in the balcony on the third floor corridor. The wall was ragged, allowing her to wedge her feet into the gaps between the stone and swing her legs over the ledge to hang them outside of the castle. Once she was sure that she was secure, she began to eat the rest of her toast contentedly while watching over the Black Lake that was visible from here.

Several minutes passed in silence and with no disturbance from anyone. A few times she heard footsteps behind her as people shuffled by, but no one paid her any mind and she didn't turn around to look. She felt like she was in a completely different universe, far away from Hogwarts.

"Dorcas?" A low voice interrupted her daydreaming, and she turned around to find a short, blond boy approaching her. It took her a few minutes to recognise him. A sixth year Hufflepuff - Benjy Fenwick - Silver's boyfriend. He gave her a short smile. "I didn't know you were back. When did you come?"

Dorcas has never really spoken to him properly before, but from the little she had seen of him, Benjy seemed to be a quiet and shy boy, mostly keeping to himself. It was a wonder how he and Silver had ended up together.

"Hi, Benjamin," she greeted him impassively. "I came last night."

He came nearer to her and stood with his arms over the ledge of the balcony. "You aren't giving the NEWTs?" She shook her head.

After a small pause, he said, "I'm sorry about your mother."

Dorcas merely shrugged. She had never understood why people said sorry in such situations. What was it they were sorry for?

Benjy opened and closed his mouth a few times, looking like he wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words to do so. Finally, he said in a resigned voice, "Well, see you around."

She nodded and he walked away. As he did so, Dorcas suddenly began to feel very lonely. She felt detached from the rest of the people around her, even Silver and Maeve, and she had the sudden urge to pack her trunk and leave the place immediately, without saying goodbye to her friends.

Half an hour later, she heard noises coming through different parts of the castle. The exam must have ended. Not wanting to meet anyone, she quickly slid off the ledge and headed back towards the Gryffindor tower.