trigger warning
I hate myself and deal with so many things that i cant express. these things if expressed would only hurt others in the process, and that i dont want any part of.
i express urges of sudden anger and depression yet im told that im not bipolar.
i want to cut myself because it gives me a sudden release from the world, yet when im off of my high all of my problems remain.
i cant starve myself because it takes too long. i am impatient.
yet i hate myself for not being patient. i wish i could be anorexic and bulimic over swiping blades across my pale skin. at least bulimia doesnt leave you with tangible scars over every inch of your body, it leaves you beautiful and skinny if you dont take it too far.
this is sad and im sorry but the truth is that i was never once happy, ive always been depressed.
you were just too blind to notice.
