I see the World Differently Than You - The Tale of a Synesthete

What Being a "Powerful" Ticker Taper Means - What It's Like

     I mentioned in a previous part that I was a "powerful" Ticker Taper. This means that in addition to seeing spoken words, I also see my thoughts. My guess as to why this is; Ticker Tape Synesthesia is my only strong type. Therefore, it does not need to compete with anything else for my attention, and has grown "powerful" as a result.

     I've been asked what it's like to be a "powerful" Ticker Taper. I'll tell a few anecdotes with different settings to give you some ideas.

1 - Silence

     You're sitting in a quiet room doing English homework. You're writing an essay. As you think about what you want to write, your soft white thoughts scroll across your vision, and you read them in your head, thinking. The thoughts about the essay are large and centered in your vision. As you write, though, you get bored and your mind wanders. The essay thoughts get surrounded by others, crowding in and demanding your attention. The other thoughts flit about in your head, and you are aware of them; you know what they say, but you don't "read" them in your head.

     No one's ever listened to me when I tell them I have at least six thoughts in my head at any given moment, but it's true.

     I have "lost thoughts" sometimes. I don't "read" them or take the time to acknowledge them, and I end up forgetting them. All I'll remember is that I forgot some thought and leave it at that, adding it to my "lost thought" pile with all the others from the previous minute.

2 - Conversation

     You're speaking with someone. As you speak, your words scroll in front of you, white words that you're planning to say, white but turning black as you say them. You finish speaking and your thoughts become dominant again, reviewing the wording of your sentence, wondering what the other person will respond with, wondering how they will take it, noting that the teacher is walking into the room, realizing that you have to go back to your seat, and having a few lost thoughts along the way. Then the other person speaks, the black words chasing away the white, which surround the black and start displaying new thoughts right away, but you only remember two of them because the rest get lost as the teacher starts talking and you process that as you sit down.

3 - Conversations With Multiple Speakers

     You're speaking with the people near you in class. The black words of the other conversations chase your thoughts around your head, and their colored auras move and scintillate in front of you. One person starts to speak to you and the surrounding white starts to display the thoughts. Then most of them become lost thoughts as another person talks over the first, the black attacking your senses, the white blotted out, can't process it all, can't process the other people talking, can't read the words overlapping and the familiar white is gone,

     Sensory overload.

     That's my normal day; chaotic words everywhere. My mind is always running, rushing, spinning thoughts round and round.

     However, every once in a while, my family goes on vacation to the beach. When I'm there, I spend five to ten minutes (every night that I can spare), alone on the beach. The waves drown out the voices of people; it's the only time my mind slows down its frantic pace. I want to show what that's like, too, and show that Ticker Taping can be peaceful.

4 - The Beach

     pff pff pff

     You walk in the sand, the sound of your footsteps fading into the sound of the waves, the sound of the waves drowning out the voices. You sit on the beach, watching the waves and their sounds. The white of your thoughts moves slowly across your vision, thinking about the waves, about the moon and the stars, thinking about the sand beneath your feet. The sssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhkoohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh of the waves is calm and it perfectly balances the white. Neither is dominant, and nothing is changing, the black and white performing a slow, elaborate dance, beautiful, and just for you. When you leave, the pff pff pff of your footsteps in the sand joins the sound of the waves and prepares you to rejoin the rest of the world, where the colors of the people and the black words become dominant again.