We See What We Want

Chapter 11

The party is still raging, but the game has clearly died off. It's terribly silent, no one knows how to respond to what Lily had said. I didn't even know how to respond to that without making it more awkward.

"Will you guys excuse me, I'm just going to get another drink." I move Jaspers hand from my thigh and left the room as fast as I can.

I walk into the kitchen, and found a bottle of rum on the counter. I didn't care if it was anyone else's drink, so I took it. I left the apartment and brought it outside with me onto the busy street.

I walk down towards an ally. I lean up against the cool brick wall and take a swig from the bottle of rum. It's strong, but I don't seem to mind the burning sensation down my throat. I know drinking more won't fix what happened in there, but maybe by tomorrow it's going to help me forget.

It felt like I was reliving a memory. Horrible memories that should have stayed in Seattle.

My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming from the dark alley. I hear drunken slurs, but I can't make out what is being said. Probably some random drunk. I am in Soho, it wouldn't be to my astonishment.

I take another swig of the bottle not caring. Sober me, would have ran away based on the frightfulness of what could happen in a dark drunken alley like this. I guess being intoxicated makes me feel as if I'm invincible. I have no fear.

"Stellaaaa" am I that drunk that I'm hallucinating? Who the hell is calling out my name. I try to take a good look on who it could be. A tall dark figure Is walking towards me. He appears to have a difficulty on walking straight.

Its Ash. What could he possibly want now. He's coming for a second round of word bullets to target me with.

"What do you want." I crudely say.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't know." It's quite obvious he's trying to sound sober, but I don't believe he's being sincere. This is just another one of his games, he enjoys seeing me like this.

"Sure you are." I roll my eyes, taking another gulp from the rum. His frustration grew.

"Stella I really am truly sorry. I was fucking mad okay. Yep. I said it, I was pissed off." I ignored him. There isn't enough excuses to justify himself for what he did.

"What was I supposed to do?! You dared Jasper to kiss you!" What? did I just hear that correctly, he is mad because Jasper and I kissed. He's been a complete and utter dick since we've met. Yet again, another dumb excuse

"You've been a complete dick the entire night. Not to mention you didn't apologize for grasping my hand so tightly when I playful punched you. You could have had at least the decency to wake me up last night to say goodbye. So please tell me how would the kiss between Jasper and I would have any fucking affect on you, cause all signs show otherwise" I shout in his face. I am done playing this game with him.

"You didn't want kiss me?" His voice is much softer.

"Did you not hear what I just said." I am not fazed by this 'sadness' that he's putting on.

Ash moves closer, his tall figure hovering over me. I want to push myself further up against wall to move away from him, but I don't.

He pulls a few strands of my hair behind my ear and slightly tilts my head to reveal my tattoo. He slowly lowers his head and gently presses his lips on the nape of the area where my scar is hidden. I'm paralyzed by his touch.

"You are so beautiful." He whispers into my ear. Shivers run through my body. Ash leans in again, leaving a trail of kisses from behind my ear to planting one last on my lips. They are soft and subtle. I don't stop him. I want him.

"Truth or Dare." He coos. Nonetheless I answer.

"Dare." He inches closer to my face that our noses are brushing each other.

"Kiss me." My heart flutters. I lean in slowly so that our lips our hovering. Suddenly, I snap out of it. Flash backs with James come flooding back. I can't do this, I go through this again. I pull away.

"What's wrong?" I know he sounds hurt but this isn't fair to myself.

"I'm sorry. I-I just can't" I pushed past him and started to hed back to go find Lily so we can leave. Ash catches up to me, he grabs my arm turning my body to face his.

"Do you not want me?" his voice is desperate. I don't want to tell him James is the reason. Well not the only reason, I know Ash will play me. He is so back and forth. He can warm my heart one second, then burn it when the opportunity strikes.

"I am not down for one of your games, just leave me alone. Infact, why don't you makeout with another one of your sluts" I blurt out. He seems to be taken back about what I said.

"Will you just stop. Admit it you want me." he reaches for my arm. I don't know if it was the alcohol giving more confidence but I slap him. We both freeze, I try to recollect what I've just done.

"Never bring up that phone call again. Understood!!" I shout. Tears began to pool around my eyes as I watch him step away from me