Our New Beginning - After Mockingjay

Chapter 2.

Chapter 2

-Katniss-

I wake up in the middle of the night to find Peeta ripping clothes out of my wardrobe and find that his face is pale and his eyes that are normally a crystal blue colour, now a scary gray. Screaming, ‘’She’s a mutt! She killed my family and tried to kill me. You mutt, Katniss. You mutt!’’, turning to me with piercing eyes.

He’s exact words from when he was hijacked and first saw me.

Oh no, a flashback.

I run up to him and tightly hold his wrists, this usually keeps him calm, depending whether it’s a minor or major painful memory. He screams, trying to bear the confusion going on in his head. I whisper him soothing words, trying to calm him down. ‘’Finnick brought me back to life in the arena, real or not real?’’ he asks, through puzzled memory. ‘’Real’’, I tell him, tightening my grip around his wrists. ‘’You tried to kill me with the tracker jackers the first time in the arena, real or not real?’’, I hesitate, searching for my response. I did try to kill him, but only because I thought he wanted to kill me. I say, ‘’Not real’’, because I know that he understands this when he’s not under the power of his flashbacks. ‘’You love me real or not real?’’, is his next question. ‘’Real, Peeta. Oh god! Real!’’, I reply, whilst pulling him into a hug. At first he trembles, still in fear and still confused. I just hug him tighter, not wanting to let go, afraid he’s memory will slip away from me if he does. After a moment he hugs me back. ‘’Sorry. I try to handle it but I can’t. I am so s-s-s-orry’’, he says, and buries his face into my hair, allowing tears to run rapidly down his cheeks. I know how hard it must be for him and I never get mad at him for it as what the Capitol did to him was heart-breaking. I just tell him to cry whenever he wants and I rub his back to calm him down.

-Peeta-

I will never forgive myself for my flashbacks. Especially the one when I once punched Katniss in the gut, sending her to fall to the floor with a thud, leaving her injured. I know she thinks nothing of them and blames the Capitol. Of course I do too, because they did this to me. They made me strangle Katniss that day, they made me punch her, they’re the ones that cause her to live with a half husband, half monster. But I also partly blame myself. I should be stronger than this. I just continue crying, we sit there for about 30 more minutes. She says she needs to go to the toilet and goes to get up. I just pull her down beside me and say, ‘’Stay with me, please’’. She responds, ‘’Always’’. This makes us both smile and we fall asleep in eachothers arms, not caring if we’re on the floor or not…