Things have gotten better. Yet hard at the same time.
I'm making friends but don't seem secure at all. They'll leave me eventually.
I'm very giggly and nice when I'm with them in the library, skipping lunch but the moment I'm alone on that miserable campus, I can't bring myself to even smile.
I get made fun of quite often. That hasn't changed much.
Mr Cruz, the school council, hasn't had much time for me anymore. He was the only person I could talk to without feeling as ashamed as usual.
I always point out that I need to talk to him but I have to fill out a report on why.
Problem is that I don't know why. I'm just sad, depressed , according to him.
I see why he would say that though. I'm not the happiest person at school, that's for sure.
I've decided to ignore Mr Cruz now. Just like he has with me.
Okay I know that he's probably busy with actual important things, but I...I don't know. I'm a bitch.
Problem is that I'm really not. It's just a role of mine. The constantly annoyed bitch that can't get ahold of her emotions. That's not me though, I can't even step on an ant without feeling awful.
I don't know why I even started this poem particularly. I had no where to go with it. I just needed to update. Not on the book itself, but just update you few on my fucked up emotions.
Now I must go to sleep now, I have to paint on a fresh, fake smile tomorrow and make sure to wear water proof mascara. Goodnight.
