Wrecking Ball - Harry Styles

Chapter 42

HARRY

I walked out the hospital and sat on the curb. I didn't want to see her. I didn't wanna see what I had done to her. I didn't wanna see her looking all weak when I knew how strong she was. She is so strong; stronger than any of this happening to her. She deserves so much more but I'm to damn selfish to let her go.

After sitting in silence for a couple minutes with the wind blowing my hair and the door of the hospital opening and closing now and then. I felt someone sit next to me but I carried on looking out into the distance.

"You know she loved you right?" I heard Penelope's voice flow through the air.

"Yea..." I trailed off still not looking at her. More tears were coming down my cheeks but they were silent.

"I'm not here to tell you its not your fault because it is; but only partly..." She said this and I looked at her confused. "...I mean yea you accepted the bet but Zayn done worst, he was the one who picked her, the one who started the bet and the one to ruin bet."

"He didn't just ruin the bet. He ruined me and he ruined her. Fuck. He even ruined you and the boys." I said and looked at the distance again.

"Why did you go into see her? I thought you would be the first." Penelope said and I sighed.

"Yea me too. I thought as soon as that doctor comes out saying we can go in I will be the first one to go in but when it happened I couldn't. I couldn't go see what I had done to her. I couldn't go see her so weak when shes been so strong for so long." I said and Penelope sighed this time.

"Poppy is strong. She has her weak moments but shes always been strong. Stronger than anyone I've know. We all have ways of dealing with our pain, some drinking, some drugs, some self harm and some just keep it all in until they explode. Poppy was the people who keep it in. Who act like there all strong and happy on the outside but dying on the inside. Who takes every blow you will give and will give some back but sooner or later she will explosed. Everything inside will just be too much and I guess that time was now." She finished and we sat in silence for a couple of minutes before she started again. "But hey, we shouldn't be thinking she's dying because she's not. No. We won't let her. She's in a coma and she will wake up and we will all be fine."

"You'll be fine but I won't. She'll hate me and I don't blame her but I can't be without her now. I've gotten to know her so well and I love her. I didn't even get time to tell her. She told me but I never said it back. I've ruined everything." I said sadly

"Look I'm not going to say she won't hate you because I know Poppy and she will hate you but stop blaming yourself. Things happen for a reason and yes I believe this happened for a reason but I don't know what reason yet. Shes going to hate you and your going to hate yourself but just go in there and talk to her. She might not here you but she might. She might just hear everything you're saying to her and maybe she'll wake up. Maybe, just maybe you can wake her up with all the words you've never said to her." Penelope said and stood up. I looked up at her and saw she had her hand out to help me up. I took it and before we went in, I pulled her in to hug me.

"Thank you for everything Penelope." I said and she smiled and I followed her in the hospital again.

Penelope went and sat next to Niall while they all watched me as I walked towards Poppy's room.

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