Wrecking Ball - Harry Styles

Chapter 56

LOUIS 

Dear Louis,

Louis. I sat in my room for ages trying to think what to right to all of you. But in the end I decided to just speak my mind.

Louis, you were like a older brother to me. I could come to you for anything and you would understand. Louis, I dont want you to be sad. I don't want any of you to be sad because of this. Because of me.

Penelope told me about your girlfriend, Eleanor. She sounds amazing and such a great person. She sounds perfect for you Lou. And i hope you and her are happy together and that you treat each other well. I hate that i never got to met her but I guess I was too caught up in my own problems to even think about asking you or any of the others how they were doing. I'm sorry that near the end I didn't ask if you were okay. I'm sorry I was being so selfish because thats what this is isn't. Being selfish. Thinking about what I wanted more than what it would effect everyone else. But to be honest I don't care. I mean you told me once that its better to make yourself happy before making everyone else happy. I've kept that with me for so long. I mean its true. If I tried to make you all happy I would be the unhappiest person ever because I've wanted this for ages now. I've wanted to just go. I didn't belong in this horrible Lou. I couldn't take it. Please tell me you understand. I love you all so much but i couldnt stay around anymore being unhappy. I won't lie you guys made me happy. Oh god you guys made me laugh and smile like never before. And I thought maybe I belong. Maybe I've finally found a place a belong, a place I can be happy but obviously not. My happiness never last. Not long anyway. But don't think this is any of yours fault because it isn't. I'm a ticking bomb remember. I was bound to explode, if it was now or later. I was going to explode. Don't blame yourself Lou, please.

I gave you everyones letters because I knew you would be the strongest person out of everyone. I mean you're the strongest person I know.

These letters are, you could say, pieces of me. The last pieces of me for all of you. I want you to give everyone their letters, except Harry. I mean I want him to read his letter but only when he needs to. I don't know what his going to be like after our talk in my room. I don't know if his going to do what I said or be miserable. I don't want him to be miserable Lou. I want him to be happy. Lou please its up to you when you give Harry his letter because I'm leaving it with you. But when you think he needs a piece of me give it to him to read.

I love you Lou and will miss you loads. But it was my time to go. Dont worry I'll be watching over all of you, i promise.

Love you lots

Poppy (Your little sister)

xxxxxx

I had tears streaming down my cheeks as I read her letter and held it against my chest as I smiled looking at the ceiling.

"Love you too Poppy. I'll make sure Harry and everyones okay. Don't worry sweetheart, you rest" I whispered before putting the letter back in the draw and going to sleep again.

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