The call had barely ended before a light shadow loomed over me. I jumped a little, not having heard anyone approach me.
Glancing up, I was mildly relieved to see Calum sliding in next to me and dipping his feet in the water.
"Hey, here you are! I've been looking all over for you." He kicked his legs around, small droplets splashed onto the end of his shorts.
"Yeah, I just wanted to see the rest of the hotel. It's a nice place."
He nodded and stared at his rippled reflection in the water.
"It is, isn’t it?”
I stared off into the distance, studying the details of the rose gold sky that the sun was steadily leaving behind. Beside me, I could still hear the sound of moving water, and I assumed Calum was still swirling his legs around in the pool.
When I looked over, I saw that I had been right. He was still circling his legs around, but he was now staring directly at me.
“So what have you been up to the past couple years?”
I gulped hard.
Oh you know, I’ve just been working, sleeping, and banging one of my best friends. You know how it is.
That would go over well.
Instead I shrugged and turned back to the sun set.
“Same old, same old. I finished school, and decided to take a gap year. I'm still working at the daycare, which is cool, but i'll probably quit before I go to university. Not much else has happened really."
I knew that this was just a warm up question. There was more plaguing his mind than what mundane things had happened in my life since we parted. He wanted the good stuff. He shifted a little, dropping his eyes from mine to the pool where he continued to splash about
“You remember how on our first date, you asked if you could ask me some questions? Well…can it be my turn now?”
The thought of our first date brought back a flurry of memories. To be completely honest, I had totally forgotten about that day. In the midst of all the chaos, I had let some of the good memories slip away from me.
“Yeah, I do remember that. I’m actually sort of surprised you do….” I drifted off for a second, letting myself indulge in the good times before snapping back to reality.
“But yeah, you can ask me anything…IF I can do the same to you. We’ll go back and forth. 21 questions style. Just like we used to.”
He smiled and drew a leg up out of the water, shook off the excess moisture and crossed it in front of him on the pool lining as he turned to face me.
“Okay, as always, ladies first.”
I shook my head, smiling down at my lap before thinking of the only question I had had since I made it to the hotel.
“Tell me about prison. I know you’re probably trying to forget but, what’s it like?”
He shrugged and dropped his gaze.
“It was cold, dirty, and intimidating, but even with that said, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. I had been to juvenile centers before, but never actual prison. And even at the juvenile places, I was only there for a week tops. You can’t really hold someone long for graffiti, now can you?”
I nodded, and he breathed in deep.
“Alright, my turn. Did you miss me when I was gone? I know we left off on bad terms, but still…did you?”
For some reason, the question arose a bit of shyness within me and I was halfway hesitant to answer.
“Yeah, I did. I used to have dreams about you all the time. Hell, I even had one a few days ago. It would always be sort of the same. You would always get out of jail and come see me, and when you did, oh god this is embarrassing, when you did, we would make out or whatever and then my dad would come in. He would have some type of weapon and right before he killed you, I would wake up. Every single time.”
During the story, in an attempt to fight of the sliver of apprehension I was feeling, I had closed my eyes. When I opened them, Calum was smirking at me.
“You looove me.” He beamed and I pretended as if I was going to push him into the pool. He caught my arms and wrapped the left one around his waist, pulling me gently into his side.
“Whatever. Don’t get too happy because I have another question for you.”
With my head tucked into his chest, I could feel his heartbeat quicken.
“Okay, shoot.”
“Why did you do it? Rob the palace I mean. Did you think about it, or did you just-.”
“Hey, hey, hey. One question at a time.”
I groaned in defeat, but let him continue.
“I’ve always had really bad impulse control, which I’m guessing was your next question. You wanted to know if I thought about it or not. The answer to that is no. If I see something I want, I take it. Literally. It’s always gotten me into trouble. I saw the safe, and it triggered something in me. I started to feel a rush. The adrenaline got me before I even had the safe cracked, and I had to open it. I had to see what was inside, and when I did…I couldn’t walk away.”
The sky had darkened into a deep lavender and navy mix glittered with twinkling stars. A light breeze drifted over us as Calum slipped his hand into mine and squeezed it, strands of his hair standing up around the crown of his head.
“I didn’t mean to get you involved at all. I just needed the thrill. I’m stupid, I know. I’m not that person anymore though. For real this time.”
He drew back and looked down at me.
“Now my question for you.”
His eyes scanned my face and the usual warmth that radiated from them had been replaced with something else. I knew that he didn’t want to ask anything invasive, but at the same time, he had always been a little impatient.
"Leisa, there's something I need to know. And I'm sorry if it offends you, but I thought about it the whole time I was away."
When he did his signature move of inflating his cheeks and aggressively releasing air, it was clear what was coming. I mentally braced myself for the backlash of it all. The truth could ruin everything, but this time, it was my fault.
While I was prepping, it appeared he was doing the same. He rolled his neck before sitting upright and focusing.
“Okay. Have you…have you been seeing other guys?
I mean, I know when I left, it wasn't really clear what we were but I just need to know."
I did everything in my power to avoid his gaze.
I considered lying. i could've said no and still be halfway truthful because i wasn't actually seeing Michael. we had just hooked up once, which, to me, felt just as bad.
I thought about how much effort Calum had put into seeing me again. I thought about how the first thing when he thought of when he was released was me. It was almost like the time away hadn't changed him at all.
The more I thought , the more the guilt bubbled up inside me. with every passing second the sullen feeling rose higher and higher until it spilled out of me.
"Yes, okay? I did-well sort of. But the more time that goes by, I realize how big of a mistake it was. I don't even know how it happened but it just did. I'm sorry, Calum. I'm so so sorry. It was just once, but-."
"Hey, hey, it's alright." Calum put his hand on the back of my head and cradled me into his chest again. I hadn't realized I was trembling until his arms held me in place. He laid his head on top of mine and rocked me.
"Calm down, babe. It's okay,"
I struggled to shake my head beneath the strength of his arms.
"No it's not! Because it wasn't just anyone. It wasn't some random party hook up. It was-."
"Michael."
Calum's interruption made my words catch in my throat.
He knew?
"Whoa, whoa, whoa...how do you know?"
He dragged a hand up and down my back, still holding me close.
"I heard you on the phone when I first came out here. And you were saying his name in your sleep."
I rolled my eyes, annoyed with myself. Of course I had given myself away already.
"You were awake?"
"Yeah, I was. I just didn't want you to know yet. I guess I just wanted to pretend every thing was the way it used to be."
I swallowed hard, trying to convince myself that if I did it hard enough, I could contain my self disgust.
"Calum, you don't know how much I regret it. Especially now that I'm back with you and-."
My phone jiggling around in my pocket reminded me of yet another reason why the hook up had been a mistake.
"Damn it." I partially untangled myself from Calum and reached inside the lining of the pocket. To my chagrin, there was a text from the last person I needed to see.
Ashley.
Calum peeked over my shoulder and gasped.
"That's not the same Ashley, is it?"
I groaned and pressed my head back into his chest.
"The one Michael told us about a long time ago? Yep. That's the one, and she has no idea what happened with me and Michael."
"How long has it been?"
I bit my lip and breathed in deep.
"A few nights ago."
I could feel Calum's mouth drop open, but he quickly closed it again.
"Well. You waited a long time to be with someone else."
I didn't have anything to say in response, and to my silence, he reciprocated in the same way.
It was quiet for awhile, the steady bubbling of the hot tub on the corner of the deck was the only thing that provided an escape from the lack of conversation.
All at once, Calum delicately untangled me from him and stood up.
He began pacing just as I had earlier. The cool demeanor he had earlier had faded into whatever jumble of emotions had taken over him.
He tilted his head back and continued to stroll, clapping his hands over his face before huffing and drawing them away quickly.
"Calum?"
At the sound of my voice, he halted. He raked his fingers through his hair once before finally jamming them in the pockets of his shorts.
"I'm not mad at you. Honestly. This was all my fault. If I hadn't fucked up, we would have never been apart."
I tugged my legs out of the water and went to stand in front of him.
"I think we're both to blame for this."
The corner of his mouth tugged up into a half smile. He took his hands out his pockets and draped both forearms around my shoulders, connecting his hands behind my neck.
"Can I tell you something?"
I involuntarily chuckled before covering my mouth with my finger tips, shocked by the action.
Calum laughed whole heartedly in response, the corners of his eyes crinkling up.
"Sorry, it's just, i mean, we've confessed everything else."
He snorted and shook his head.
"You know, something that attracted me to you in the beginning was your purity. You were everything I wasn't: straight A student, responsible, trust worthy and mature. It was like you already had it all together at such a young age. I admired it. I liked how you were just a genuinely good person. That fact that you're attractive didn't hurt either." He winked and I grinned, peering down at the floor.
"But with all that said, seeing you be bad...I have to say I love it a little more than I thought I would."
"Yeah, well, I hate it. It takes too much energy being bad."
Before Calum could reply, my phone vibrated again.
"Ugh, can you people leave me alone?""
This time I checked the screen, I felt a jolt of anxiety. Right above Ashley's text was one from Michael.
I've got it all handled. Just roll with whatever Ashley says. You're safe.
_____
Calum took that well, didn't he? And does Michael really have this handled? Vote and comment for the next chapter :D
xxx
