Can I Be Your Girl

14

"Will you tell me now why you're in a black suit?" I pleaded for the hundredth time.

Yvanna couldn't be bothered though, as she inspected her nails for nonexistent dirt.

She sat on a cushioned stool in the middle of my room while I, for unknown reasons, kneeled in front of her- in my pajamas.

"I let you stay the night, at least answer my question," I insisted.

She only scoffed and rolled her eyes, a single roll that spoke clearly of annoyance and dwindling patience.

"You," she emphasized with a hard glare, "forced me," she gestured to herself, "to stay the night, the least you could do for that inconvenience is to shut the fuck up!"

After securing my shock, she turned her face to the other side and completely ignored me.

What just happened? I had to pause and scrutinize her statement. And the more I pondered, the more convinced I was that the words she uttered weren't remotely familiar with her character. It was suspiciously awkward.

"Did you just cuss at me?"

"Fuck! Shut up!"

Now I was convinced. Something was wrong with her today. The Yvanna I knew never swore. Could it be because of what I did last night? Was sleeping next to me enough to have her spouting curses at me on a bright morning? Taking a quick glance at her red face and considering what she just said moments ago, I just handed the answer to myself. Apparently, it was. Wow! What a boost of self-esteem!

"Listen, Yvanna-"I didn't finish; her glare was enough to shut me up.

"No you listen here you stupid mutt!" She jammed a finger to my chest, and it was of sheer harshness that I almost lost my balance and fell back on my butt. "You had the audacity to act all high and supreme last night, order and force me to sleep beside you, you stinky ass, wrap your big ass body around me like a fucking burrito, breath in nonsense, proceed to sleep like it was nothing you faggot and pretend that it's all rainbows and butterflies between the two of us the next day when it's fucking not!!"

She was breathing hard and noisily that she reminded me of a dragon that's about to breath out fire- a livid fire dragon. Are women this scary when mad or was it her natural and unique trait? No matter what, I believed it warranted the sudden ugly chill I had.

"Well..," I chuckled nervously, "If you put it that way then..."

In that moment, I realized, she had violent allergic reactions to my voice when she pushed me with a force that had me plummeting down to my fall....a really...long...perhaps impossibly long for a fall in which a quick landing- the bedroom floor- would have cushioned seconds ago. Wait...What?

And then I was falling down. Down a rabbit hole which, I would gladly attest, was not part of the structural design of my bedroom. Suddenly, Yvanna who was now in a red dress, looked down from her vantage point from above, and sent me a mock kiss of goodbye and a complimentary red rose as a finish.

Afterwards, there was only darkness and pain at my tailbone.

*****

"Aww,aww,ooouuucchh...," I cried while my eyelids still covered my view and refused to open.

The hard surface I landed on was too cold and too hard for my behind to be alright after the fall. I whimpered. I'd bet my cars, that was going to leave a bruise.

Finally, my eyes, probably upon noticing my poor situation, opened themselves. And no, I didn't find myself lying on the dirt of a pit or anywhere with soil and waste combined-thankfully, but I laid supine on my bedroom floor just beside my bed. Turning my body to the side, I rubbed my aching tailbone. I must've fallen hard if my pained back was a revealing sign of it.