The Bad Boy Is Out

Eighteen: Foreplay

The Bad Boy Is Out 18

Eighteen: Foreplay

One baby wrapped in a blue blanket and the other in a pink one. But I can't get over...HOW FUCKING CUTE THEY WERE AWWWWWW. Mama was the first to run to Layla, and me the second. Awww they were sooo cute and tiny ahhhhhh. I wanted to steal them oh gosh they were precious XD

I think my mama and I were practically Fangirling over these babies.

Lay lay and Rapha had decided to stay at the hospital over night and go home in the morning. Two beautiful healthy baby twins. Layla's was red, both from all the pain that must've caused and I think from crying after seeing not just one...but two little miracles right before her eyes. I was happy for her...so happy. And now...I'm finally an Aunty XD Rapha looked like such a happy proud new daddy, they were so cute...overflowing with joy.

We got home around 10:00am. I was dead tired. I said my good nights and headed straight to my room. This time remembering to lock my door behind me. I opened my window, and just as planned Ayrton was there climbing through my window. I peeled my jeans off and changed shirts. I tousled my curls before yawning and crawling into bed. Looking up at Ayrton I asked "are you okay?"

"...ya...ya, I'm golden"

"You don't sound golden, batman. Is it what my dad said?"

"No...kinda...maybe a little"

"Don't take his spiritual stuff seriously. He just doesn't want us together, but he's to self riotous to say it"

"Ya but...my mom always talking about that stuff. How our ancestors are in the stars looking down at us and watching over us. And how the stars tell stories and legends, and they know things. I don't know. I think I'm starting to believe in all that stars stuff...so what if he is right? What then? What if fate or our ancestors don't want us together? What if they already know how fucked up I am for you?"

"The stars...they're beautiful things. I like stars...and I guess sometimes I do think of the great spirit being among the stars along with our ancestors. But don't think that anything is trying to keep us apart...at least not anymore. Who cares who's against us...I...I love you. I think that's main thing here, is our ancestors don't like it oh well. They're pretty far away up there in the sky to actually do anything" I answered with a smile. I know what Ayrton is thinking about. He's thinking of all the wrong things he's done, he believes they define him because that's what everyone else thinks. But he's so much more. And he'll never see that on his own...he'll never believe that by him self. With people like our fathers and the majority of society picking on all he's done in the past...he must have himself really down on the spectrum of importance.

He just gazed at me. The faint smile on his face held for sadness than happiness. I got out from under my covers, and crawled over to the edge of my bed. My hands reached for his and I gently pulled him down to my bed. I took a deep breath and said "no offence, but I'm the depressing one. Tainted with so many issues, but you...you're always making me feel better. Even when I think you could do so much better than me...but you're always so sure that I'm good enough..."

"You're so much better than 'good enough', I know you're what I want. But I don't want to...break you"

"Ayrton...I'm already broken. I've been...broken, smashed to pieces dozens of times. But...umm...it's fine...I'm fine...because you make it better. You...fix...me" I took a deep breath...it wasn't enough. My heart was aching and my face burning. I eyes were tearing up, and wiping them wasn't helping. Ayrton's expression went soft, his hand caressed my cheek. I rushed into his arms. So I've clearly cried too much this month. I hate it...I broke down again. I'm so weak. Stupid Natalie...I thought I was stronger. I withstand my own beat down...ugh. The day Ayrton wants nothing to do with me I'll probably die.