No One of Us

Part 2

Krist Pov.

Once again I wake up without even feeling like I had slept, I just wanted it to stop, I'm extremely tired and I feel like at some point I'm going to collapse, my only luck is to have a certain level of resistance and finish the routines without be punished with the worst of punishments, the "hell". Everyone is afraid of only two things, "He" that we have never seen but that teach us to fear him and hell, but I have been asking myself if it really is so bad, maybe there do not differentiate so much from here, be punished there or here it started to make no difference to me and if it was worse there I was prepared for it. The only thing that holds me here and does not make me completely surrender and give up was him, the one that out of nowhere started to be in my head while I slept doing things that I was sure I had never done awake, let alone with him, but he was there, looking at me, smiling, enveloping me with his arms, touching my face and doing things that left me breathless just thinking, he always spoke something but no voice was heard and when I woke up it seemed that I had not slept, tired , without air and wanting to not wake up, when I closed my eyes and he appeared in my head I felt good, better, energetic and I felt like I was another of me, even his touches seemed real what left everything so vivid and I just could not leave that place, because I knew that at the end of it all, when I opened my eyes, he would be in the next bed, often with his back to me, but it was there, I stare at him as I try to calm myself down. Before bed he had caught me looking at him but immediately I turned away and pretended to sleep, it was the first time I saw him look at me and I could not contain the tremor I felt and my only action was to divert from his look, I know very well that we can not even touch, we can not do anything that incites us to feel love, they never explained well what it would feel like to love but that it would not make a difference to know, as soon as they perceive any of us with love we would be defective and useless for purpose. Many of us considered rebels do things without the masked ones knowing in the rooms, no sound to draw attention to them, I know there are two of us here who are rebellious and do things after bedtime but we pretend we did not see them for not to be corrupted or punished if they were discovered, all the other rebels were stories that the masqueraders told and how they discovered them and punished them, it was the way they used to make us feel scared and continue with the trainings. Still lost and drowsy thinking about the whole situation I do not notice the loud siren ringing and he staring at me, 'Shit!' he was looking at me again and he looked at me the same way he looked at me while I slept, the tremor I felt was so great that I did not control myself, I got up and left immediately from the room and went to the training room, I did couldn't demonstrate nothing and I hope to have succeeded. Now we are all in training with bows and arrows in hand, they call me because it is my turn to shoot and of all the targets I almost missed half for having hit without precision, even though I thought the difference was insignificant, but for the masked ones it was a good enough reason to whip me maybe a dozen times, at first the pain was unbearable but now I can handle the pain and I do not cry anymore. "Singto!" they call him, he prepares himself and he perfectly hits all the targets, I feel good watching him hit all targets, he could pass a safety image and best of all, he did not need to be punished, he was one of the the best of the team and did not need to receive punishment and that also made me feel good, he did not need to suffer, even if I felt pain because of the lashes, to see him without suffering punishment made me forget the pain a little. After finishing all the routines and taking a shower, one of the masked men comes to treat my wounds, he doesn't say anything but he doesn't measure his strength when he treats me, all the pain comes back in the brief moment that he cleans and covers the wounds, but soon he releases me and I return to the room, I did not have much time to dry myself and I have to sleep a little wet, when I lie down I notice Singto looking at me again but this time he not only looks in my eyes but my whole body what makes me remember the touches of him that I felt when I slept and it warmed me as if I had plunged into something warm, when he realized that I saw him looking I perceive red appear on his face 'Is this possible?' I thought and immediately he turned, even his ears had reddish, I continued to stare at his back when I realized that his body trembled, just like the Singto that appeared in my mind when he touched me in places I never dared to touch awake and I was stunned, my body wanted Singto but my mind said that the Singto of my head wasn't the same as that of the bed beside mine, but before I even realized I was already in his bed, wanting to touch his back, but my hand stopped in the air because he turned and looked at me, and seeing that he was going to say something, with the same hand I had intended to touch him, used to make a silence sign, everyone was asleep and I didn't want a masquerade discovering us and punishing Singto. "Somehow I remember you," I whisper to him extremely low, all the scenes I saw in my mind seemed more alive now with him so close to me, "Remember me how?" he whispers back, just to hear him all my body trembled, it was like sleeping and seeing him but now everything he said I could hear, "Touching me" I answer with the face closer to his to hear it better, "How?" the same hand that asked for silence, without my command, touches his face, he looks at me and I feel completely shaken, it is like my thought had materialized, I touch his whole face and finally focus on his mouth, 'So vivid, so real' he seems to be startled and opens his mouth to breathe, at the same moment I realize that I also have nothing in my lungs and look for an air that I didn't seem to miss, and I remember something that Singto always did when I slept, he leaned his mouth on mine and that was one of the best parts, I wanted to feel it again and I leaned my mouth on his, 'Unbelievable!' it was better than what happened in my head, I repeat the same movement that Singto always did, sucking, pulling and pressing, but this Singto that was below me doesn't do anything, doesn't answer me as he answered me in my head and this somehow hurts me, he pushes me trying to breathe and I take this opportunity to search his tongue with mine, maybe he answers me like this, he always answered me when the touch deepened, and this time I succeed, he answers me and something inside me explode, I never felt so good, I wanted to be there and I do not care about the rest anymore, you can send me to hell, because everything I want is here, finally in my reach, I suck and stroke his tongue without me forgeting to bite and lick his lips, he seems to repeat my movements but I don't care, I grab him by the shoulders and intend to reach his neck to bring him even closer to me, but he pushes me again and this time with enough strength, I'm so lost that I don't realize the pressure of his hands tightening my arms, Fixing my eyes on his wanting connection, I don't know how to connect with him, but I know it's something beyond me, bigger than me, "It never happened and never touches me again. or talk to me " and then I see his eyes looking at me the same way the masked ones looked at us, contempt, I realize everything now, the silence of the room, my position, the pain in my arms and the tears in my eyes that had never appeared again after I got used to the punishments, and lastly I realize that this Singto is not my Singto, he is another, who doesn't want me and despises me, the reality is devastating and I just get up and go back to my bed, my back to him so him can't see the tears that only now fall from my face and thus I continue until the siren rings telling the beginning of the routines, for the first time after so much time Singto doesn't appear in my head but the remembrance of a Singto with contempt and anger. Now I'm here in the middle of bow and arrow training watching Singto get whipped for having missed two of the targets, it had never happened again and it hurt to see him suffer, I could bear him not wanting me, it was a sign he didn't feel love and that he would be safe like that, but I don't know why Singto's performance fell apart beyond me being at fault, I must have disturbed and distracted hiim, for a brief moment while he is punished I have the impression he looked me, but soon turned his face without any reaction. Well Krist, you're hated now, he's not my Singto. 'What a pain' is worse than the punishments I get from the masked ones, I think the best thing is for me to go to hell.

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Hello! Part 2!

If mistakes, please, tell me so I can correct it.

Ultil part 3!