Chapter 29. Alice

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Chapter 29. Alice

I was an important part in Casey's life. I knew that. I was happy that I got to be there for her, when she was here. It had been a crazy year, but I loved every part of it. Even if Casey wasn't right next to me, she would remain my heart, forever and always. Walking through her church, really made me realize how much I meant to Casey. I gave her a shoulder to cry on, or a laugh to get her mind off of the pain and stress. We had took lots of pictures together. There was an entire collage of pictures just of us. Together. Best friends. Things happened for reasons, ones that I'll never know the answers too, but there was always something good that could come out of it later. After all the pain is gone.

Kendall squeezed my shoulder, and I looked behind him, not afraid to hide the tears any longer. "You were an amazing friend to Casey," He said. I knew that was the truth. He made eye contact with me, and I looked away, knew that I was going to start bawling. But I would try my best not too. Casey would want me to be brave right now. She always told me to be brave.

"Thank you," I mouthed back to him. I couldn't speak. There was a pain in the back of my throat that was keeping me from speaking. I hated that feeling.

He kissed me, not pulling away for a while. It didn't make me feel better this time, like when he would kiss me other times. This time it only made me feel worse. I couldn't tell Casey how amazing it had felt. She wouldn't want to know that it was a bad feeling. She loved hearing positive things come from me, because her life rarely had them.

I and Kendall took our seats, and I admired the beautiful display of pictures and flowers in the front of the church. It was almost as beautiful as her. A girl that I didn't know, took a seat next to me. Her pink dress looked adorable on her, and it complimented her hair and brown eyes. I looked at her and smiled. I had seen her around school, and she was always happy, and bubbly. She had confidence. I always admired people like her.

She looked back at me, and smiled brighter. "You were close with Casey, weren't you?"

"Yes," I admitted. "She was an amazing person. Beautiful, kind, strong, and brave. I was so honored to know her."

"That's so sweet. I didn't know her well, but I always felt bad for her. She obviously had problems nobody knew about. I'm sorry about your great loss," She said, reaching her hand out to grab mine.  

I looked away, smiling, with more tears coming now. "But hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, huh?"

I must have looked at her like she was crazy, because she looked at me so confused. My heart almost jumped out of my chest. That was a quote that I had heard a long time ago. "Is your name, McKayla McGregor?" I asked, hopefully.

"Yeah, why?" She asked, tilting her head. I clapped my hands, like a freak.

"I use to read your column in the school newspaper! I was 'Forever Hopeless Alice' the girl that always use to write you for advice!"

Her eyes widened. "Are you kidding me? I have been looking for you, for so long!" She reached out and hugged me, practically knocking me over. McKayla had written an advice column for teenage girls, and I thought it was genius. Nobody read it though, except for me. I kept her writing. I loved her so much, she helped me all the time.

"This is so cool!" I exclaimed. "Thanks so much for helping me through, everything."

"Thanks so much for actually reading my column!"

I laughed. Meeting McKayla was the best part of the day. Who knew a funeral could be fun? Another girl sat down next to McKayla, with short black hair. She tapped McKayla on the shoulder.

"Hey, are you McKayla? I'm Julie. Your going on a date with my brother, Jeremy, I think." She bit her lip, and smiled.

"Oh!" McKayla flipped her head back and laughed. "This is crazy, I'm meeting so many new people!"

"Your not, Julie Packa are you?" I chimed in. "If you are, Jeremy is my cousin, and he told me all about that story!"

"Yes!" She jumped. "Yes, I am!" I wasn't lying. Jeremy was my cousin, and that would mean me and Julie were cousins too!

"We should all hang out sometime!" McKayla yelled.

Before I knew it, a priest called me up front, wanting me to do my speech. To be ready to talk about about Casey in front of about a hundred people. I got very nervous in front of people. This was for her. I would be brave for her.

I stepped up the stairs, my stomach was a little uneasy. I was upset, but happy, because I was surrounded by a bunch of people that love Casey. Love was all we needed to get through this.

"Casey was an amazing person. I could go on for hours talking about her," I said, with a smile. I breathed in, and pretended there was nobody here. I was just speaking my thoughts out loud. "She made a huge impact on people's life's. When I found out she was gone, I realized how much we had. She made us stronger. She was going through such a hard time, but she never complained. She was my role model, and I'm sure she is for a lot of other people." I tried not to cry, it was really hard. I just needed to focus on good things.

"From now on, I'll be doing things in Casey's honor," I told them. "I'm going to bring her with me everywhere. I'll do things that she's always wanted to do." I walked over to a giant picture of her. I leaned against it, looking at her beautiful face. "I'll always love you," I admitted, kissing the picture. 

"Thanks Casey," I said, closing my speech, and walking back to my seat. Kendall kissed my forehead as I sat down. I didn't stop my tears. They just fell, and I didn't even expect that. 

                                                                      ~~

When the funeral ended, they played, "I'll Always Love You," By: Whitney Houston. It seemed like I heard that song a million times before, but I never got sick of it. It reminded me of that day Casey sang it, and protected me. She would do anything for me, and I would have done anything for her. 

As the song reached the chours, I ran to the bathroom, knowing what I was going to do. I pushed open the door to the bathroom, forcefully, and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair wasn't that important to me. I didn't need it. 

I ruffled through my purse, remembering that I had an extra pair of scissors from when I went to an art studio for Craft Day. I held out a piece of my blond silky hair, and cut it, not regretting it. I soon did the same, until I had a short hair cut. I continued trimming the rest of it off, until I was completely bald. I looked like Casey. I smiled at that. Looks didn't matter.

Love was the only thing that mattered. 

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