Elusive Memories

Chapter 33

“We closed the deal yesterday Emily. I will be able to stay here for a few days without rushing back. Fernandez is enjoying his freedom and the additional responsibilities pretty well. He asked about you and asked me to tell you to get better soon so that he, Michelin and Jared can take you out.”

Erik stopped for a few minutes, his concentration completely on the tab in his hand. He worked on it for some time and kept it down.

“So where were we?”

“Ah… I was giving you the message which your friends sent. So what should I tell them? I know that you will enjoy a day out with them. Even I feel suffocated in this hospital room. When you get well, we are going for a long vacation Emily. I missed you a lot and I am going to make up for the lost time.”

He looked at her once again and sighed. “If it was not for Levin’s interference, it wouldn’t have taken this long for me to get back to you Emily. I am sorry for what I did. I thought that you didn’t want to be near me any more. I..I thought that you h..hated me.” He had some difficulty  saying the words. They were unbearable and felt like sawdust in his mouth.

Amelia was sure that the voice that kept talking belonged to Erik. But she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She thought that she heard Adrian’s voice sometimes while it was Chloe the next time. She even thought that Gary was sitting near her talking to her. She wanted to open her eyes, but found out that it was not an easy task to do. She kept drifting back to sleep before she could do anything and she dreamed a lot, about good things and bad things. The strange fact was, whenever she had a nightmare, she used to wake up screaming at full volume, but lately she couldn’t do that. Her voice got stuck somewhere on the way and she had to suffer the dread till it lasted. The worst part was she couldn’t even wake up from the horror.

Often she felt tears rolling down her cheeks and she thought she felt someone wiping them and stroking her head, trying to calm her down with soft words. That made her think about her mother who kept stroking her head and when she remembered the feeling, her dread vanished and peace filled her mind. She slipped back into a peaceful sleep and  it felt nice.

But right then she was sure that the voice which kept on talking was that of Erik’s and she wanted to open her eyes for once. If she was not dreaming and Erik was there near her, she wanted to see his face, touch him if he let her. It took her a number of tries before she managed to pry her eyelids open.

She took in her surroundings and saw the flowers on a table nearby. She breathed deeply and thought about her home, their garden with roses in full bloom. She wanted to go back, sit there with her parents and enjoy life without any worries.

“Chloe’s exams are next week and she is not at all concentrating on her studies. If you were there to force her, I am sure that she would have scored good marks. She is not eating properly and is not getting much rest. Adrian tried his best to force her to stay back and study some, but that girl is a stubborn one. She is, after all, your sister. Believe me Emily, I have never seen a more stubborn person than you in my life.”

Erik was leafing through a magazine while talking to her and she took him in. Her mother was right, Erik was indeed waiting for her. She wanted to call him, but stopped herself the last moment. She was not his perfect Emily anymore. That man destroyed her confidence, touched her against her will, made her grieve for Levin. He played with her like a cat did with a mouse. He scarred her body permanently and the scars which were inflicted on her mind will stay there forever. No, she was not fit for being any one’s girlfriend or lover anymore.

A tear slid down her cheek and a sob escaped her throat. That made her realize how much it hurt her throat. She was weak, scared and violated. She felt inadequate, worthless to be near anyone and she felt angry at herself, at fate, at God for letting it happen.