[kim namjoon pov.]
the day went by without me getting noticed by anyone. i sat at the back of the class, next to the windows and leaned my head against the wall.
my eyelids felt heavy, i knew that my body needed sleep. sleep that i didn't get last night, even though i went to bed early. sleep that i wasted with crying over stupid things every night.
the lesson ended without me even listening to one word the teacher said.
i went to the cafeteria, sitting down next to my only friend in this school, that i loved more than everyone.
chanyoung. chanyoung, that always had my back when everyone else did not. that supported me coming out to myself and my parents. that was the person that could always rely on me.
»hey namjoon, how was your day?« she smiled. i really admired her. despite everything bad happening in her life, she still managed to smile and stay positive. i couldn't find an honest smile in myself.
»i don't know.« i said, knowing that chanyoung was way too stubborn to just let that slide. »was it worse than yesterday?« »yes.« she knew about me crying hard every night. she knew about my parents that loved me so much, but weren't able to help me. no one was.
»namjoon. i know you feel like there is no one out there that understands you, your problems. but there is. i know that. and you will find someone. i know that, too.«
oh, i loved her so much. how could someone even deal with my sadness every day and still be happy? i didn't understand her. i had nothing you could look for in a friend. but she still stayed by my side, she always did. i chuckled, feeling a bit better.
»thank you so much chanyoung. i love you.« i looked in her pretty eyes and wished her sincerely the best in life. she didn't deserve anything else other than the best.
»i love you too« she smiled, her eyes shining. »now, let's go! mr. lee doesn't like to wait.« she said enthusiastically and pulled me up from my seat. i didn't finish eating, but i wasn't hungry anyways.
together we went to the only class we had together, songwriting.
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- CHONS
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SELF-LOVE ↯ NAMJIN
Fanfictioni'm learning how to love myself. in which namjoon is desperate to find a little bit of love for himself, and it all seems to work out when a boy full of confidence walks into his life like the door is wide open.
