SELF-LOVE ↯ NAMJIN

ten » i n t i m a t e

[kim seokjin pov.]

»why is this so hard?« i whined and pouted at him. he laughed softly. »it's not that hard, you can do it!« namjoon said reassuringly.

i started pressing the keys like he taught me a few minutes ago- and suddenly, i didn't do anything wrong. i finished and cheered for myself.

»i made it!« i said and smiled widely at namjoon, who was sitting next to me. he smiled back and i had to try hard not to swoon over him. how did he always manage to be that cute? it should be illegal.

»do you want to learn another song?« namjoon asked. »what can i choose?« i questioned. »whatever you want.« he said and i smiled. »i want to play one of your songs.« his eyes widened and he wanted to say something, but i cut him off.

»i know you think no one knows from who the songs are that they play at our school talent show, but it's not hard to do some research and find out.« i said and namjoon looked down. »they're amazing. you should perform them yourself.« i suggested.

»oh no, i would pass out and fail everything.« he said as his eyes searched for distraction. »but it's your work and you sacrificed a lot for these songs. it's not fair if others get the prices and you earn nothing!« i said and laid my hand on his arm.

he looked at me with this look in his eyes and i didn't know how to react. something about his eyes, his face in general, was so captivating, you could stare at it forever without feeling bored or not pleased.

his expression seemed to never change yet his eyes revealed his deepest feelings, which had me admiring him so much.

namjoon smiled a little, red tint filling his cheeks like so often when i talked to him. it was the most adorable thing i had ever seen and i would give a lot to see it more.

suddenly, i realized how much how close i was to him and panicked. he wouldn't like me the way i liked him.

and so i backed off, eyes fluttering shut for a short second, probably making me look extremely shitty and unconfident. that was so untypical for me, but namjoon managed to some way make me do things i never thought i would be able to do.

»i-i'm sorry.« i stuttered, »i didn't mean to look at you like that. wait, scratch that, i stared at you, didn't i? ugh, i'm such a coward oh my god..« what was wrong with me? what was i doing?

embarrassed, i buried my burning face in my hands. i never felt like that before, ever. where was the confident, flirty seokjin when you needed him?

»oh, oh no, it's okay, really! i would never think of you that way, you hear me? you're seokjin, you're perfect the way you are, okay? don't ever think of yourself like that. you don't deserve that. hey, you can look at me, you know? i won't judge you. i promise.« namjoon blabbered random words, but it surprisingly worked and calmed me down a lot.

i took a deep breath. 'get your shit together, seokjin' i thought and finally looked up to namjoon, who was smiling at me.

»okay.« i whispered. »should we continue?« he whispered back. »yes.« i said, still looking at his beautiful face. »why are we whispering?« he asked, grinning.

a giggle escaped my lips, and namjoon grinned wider. »i don't know.« i said, getting completely lost in his dark eyes.

and this time, nothing felt bad about it. it was just me and him, two teenage boys in an empty room with only a piano and a bookshelf, falling for each other without even recognizing.

there was something so intimate about this moment, not even a teacher would have thought about disturbing them.

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i have nothing more to say other than that i'm cheesy
thanks for reading!
- CHONS