ugh today's been shit. My ex is running around saying i cheated on him because i broke up with him. I possibly only have 1 friend now for something i didn't fucking do. Fuck my life.
All day i feel just numb today. Like whats the point in anything rn. My life feels like its just crashing down now. All the shit i built up so i can feel like a normal girl has just fallen down...
You know when you work so hard on something weather it be an art picture, dinner, anything really then it gets destroyed and you just sat there staring at what you created and haven't finished yet now destroyed and on the ground in front of you? That's how i feel. Like why bother work on it again?
It might just be torn down all over again...
I scratched my skin again today. I was laying in bed numb when i grabbed the blade and just drug it along my skin. I now have a few small cuts and a lot of irritated skin. And i still feel nothing. Like i feel like i need to see a deep ass cut in my skin and watch the blood fall from the cut fall onto the floor.
I haven't eaten at all today. And i am a little scared that i will go back to not eating.
In middle school (7-9) for three years in that school i was scared at my weight and my stomach so i refused to eat all day until dinner and even at dinner i would barely eat. my parents didn't notice which i am surprised at. But don't worry in grade 10 i had started eating more because ........ my fatass missed food .......... lol
But since this bullshit is happening i don't see the need for food. like why bother. Idk if i should end it here and stop wasting your time or not.
ya that's it
YOU ARE READING
My thoughts and my struggles
No Ficciónthis is not a story. I have spent years of my life struggling with suicidal thoughts, anxiety, self-harm, eating disorder-ish (idk what to call it), low self-a-steam, depression, etc. And i never figured out how to actually tell people what i feel...
