Innocence

Chapter 8

When we landed in Geogia we checked into a hotel and I went straight to the bed. I just wanted to sleep. I had been crying all night and I felt so bad. Even though my dad was awful to me I still loved him. Jared didnt understand. He comforted me anyway. He laid beside me on the bed and rested his forehead on my back. J"It will be okay.. Im really sorry this happened." Me "I should have stayed here. Im selfish." J"So do you regret comng with me?" I didnt know how to answer that. I loved Jared and I felt so alive around him. But I should have been there for my father. Me "I dont regret it. I just feel torn." We went to sleep and I woke up crying. I felt an overwhelming sadness and I couldnt help it. I would never see my father again. I never told him bye. He probably died angry at me. It turned out he had a stroke in his bedroom and died. If I had been home maybe I could have called and ambulance and he would be alive right now. A couple of days later was the funeral. I dreaded it more than anything. Jared was in all black. I put on a black dress and sunglasses. When we got to the church there he was. In his casket. He looked so peaceful. I walked up and Jared was by my side the entire time. I kissed my dad's forehead and said "Im so sorry, daddy. Please dont be mad at me. I forgive you for everything and I love you." I turned to Jared who was holding back tears. I burried my face in his chest and cried. After the funeral we went back to the hotel. I lost it. Me" I just dont know how to feel, Jared! He made my life a living hell but he was my dad and I did love him! I really did." I punched the wall as hard as I could and just started throwing things. Whatever I could find. Jared grabbed me and just hugged me as tight as he could. J"please calm down. I know you loved your dad. You left because you wanted a better life. He hurt you but you forgave him. He loved you, baby." I just cried until I couldnt anymore. The next day we visited his grave site and I left flowers. Me "I love you, dad. Im sorry." We drove to the airport in silence. When we got back to LA the next few days all I did was stay in bed and cry.