Enough | ✔️

+ 47 +

● qυorra neverѕea ●

Elena's wailing is starting to get to me.

She has the most gorgeous, warm, innocent eyes and a toothless smile that can manipulate her father into doing the most absurd things, but dear god does she cry like a banshee.

The only plus to this is that she's keeping Lara and Bennett busy so they can't come upstairs and ask me how I am. Because, to be honest, I don't know what to reply.

I've decided that my emotions are split into the following components: relief, pride, and anxiety.

Relief because the continuous, unchanging, mundane routine of eat, study, sleep is finally broken.
Pride because I've gone from hard work achieving nothing to hard work achieving everything.
And anxiety - because, well, what the fuck do I do now?

I roll over to stare at the cream ceiling of Lara's guest bedroom, splaying out like a starfish and soaking in the three seconds of silence between the end of one crying tantrum and the start of anoth-

There we go.

"Honey, what does she want? I'm so confused," I hear Bennett's muffled voice exclaim nervously, barely audible over Elena's wails.

"God, I don't know! At this point I think she's just crying for fun!"

I block out the frenzy ensuing downstairs and close my eyes, trying to find peace in my own company.

A few moments ago, I got a text.

Congratulations.

-Mum and dad.

It's left me speechless for a good fifteen minutes now. Opening the message for the umpteenth time, I blink at the screen, trying to read between the lines of the four-word text. Honestly, it shocks me that they even remembered I graduated today. Even more honestly, I don't think I've registered that I've graduated.

Thanks?

I hesitate, finger hovering over the send button.

I replace the question mark with a full stop.

Wait.

Does that look too harsh? The full stop carries a huge sense of finality.

I swap out the full stop for a smiley face, before deciding that it is too friendly and sending the text without any punctuation at all.

Thanks

Wait, was I meant to sign off? 'Your daughter'. 'A failure'. 'Disappointment'. None of those really seem to capture the moment correctly.

I groan, wanting to punch something.

How decayed must our relationship be for me to question what I text them back? How many years of damage have we suffered through? I sigh. Maybe things could get better. God, I want things to get better between us. I just don't think they ever can - you can't just erase years of miscommunication and disagreement with a couple hugs and an 'I love you'.