My angry thoughts soon melt away into remorseful ones as I push my knotty hair back and sink against the nearest wall in the corridor, defeated. Regret fills me as I think of my phone in Professor Hartley's hands and his pitiful gaze sweeping across the barrage of messages flooding my screen. Sometimes I'm looking for pity to feel better about myself, but I certainly don't want it right now and definitely not from him.
A sniggering group of students walk past me, bright smiles lighting their faces as they pass by me without a glance.
I sigh, leaning my heated head against my hands to calm the fiery anger screaming inside me. It won't affect me, anyway. They live far away now, they've always been disappointed in me, I've always failed - none of this will change.
But there's just something in this situation that shatters the perfect illusion of family my naive twelve year old self believed in.
Dragging myself out of the abyss of negative thoughts I've plunged myself into, I get to my feet and head towards the elevator to grab something to eat. With all the drama that's happened today, I haven't even had a chance to eat or realise what the gnawing pain in my stomach is - hunger.
As I arrive at the canteen, my eyes immediately settle on a rowdy group of students. Martha-May-June-July is amongst them, makeup layered on like pastry and hair so straightened that it looks drier than straw. I tighten my jaw, dig my nails into my palms, and walking away from them towards the queue, my hunger stopping me from punching her square in the fake face and making a dramatic exit. So far she's said nothing to make me hate her as much as I do, but if there's one thing I despise, it's sniggering and talking behind someone's back.
I'm stopped before I get in the queue by Grant. His face is lit with a pearly smile as I force my anger to simmer down so my sour mood doesn't spread to him.
"Hey," he greets as I manage to push aside my everlasting family problems to reply with a, "What's up?"
He shrugs, "I don't know, I was wondering if you were still mad at me for asking about the rumours."
"That was less than 45 minutes ago, dork," I say flatly, "But I was just in a bad mood because of all the work I need to do to catch up. Trust me, I'm not missing another lecture."
With a little laugh, he gestures towards the table where he was sitting as I give up on grabbing myself breakfast when Martha-Mongoose heads for the line, probably to get some water with a side of air. I take a seat opposite Grant, a heavy sigh leaving me unintentionally as the parent situation lingers in the back of my mind, testing my patience and self-control.
Oh, how I wish I could reach in there and rip it out of me.
"What's wrong?" Grant asks as I shrug and don't offer a reply.
He pushes his plate of food towards me and I accept half of his sandwich with a 'thanks', my mind too scrambled to feel bad about taking his food, "It's nothing, just English," I lie through my teeth, making eye contact to make it more believable as I take a bite of sandwich.
Ew. Whose idea was it to put cheese and onion inbetween two pieces of bread? Why ruin cheese like that? I swallow with some trouble, desperate for a drink of water.
"Don't worry about that, I can help you out tomorrow if you want?" he offers as I decline quickly, not wanting my parents to come and scare off any potential friends.
"No, it's fine, I'll just work through it slowly. What have you got planned for today?" I ask, putting the sandwich down inconspicuously as he makes a sound of indifference.
"I dunno," he starts, "Well, actually..."
He pauses, as if carefully selecting his word choice, "I was going to ask out this girl I've liked for a little while."
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Dla nastolatków#1 enough #1 notenough #3 in lifelessons #15 relatable "They say you regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did do in life," I whisper, glad that I can still form a coherent sentence with him so abnormally close to me. I would bare...
